


Hamelin Alternative

by smileyjunior



Category: The Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26485060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileyjunior/pseuds/smileyjunior
Summary: What if things went a bit differently in the forest?  What if Holder had called for backup?
Comments: 9
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

James Skinner knelt on the forest floor, clutching his bleeding abdomen. Sarah Linden had shot him. She had shot him after he had said that his biggest regret was killing Adrian. Pulling the trigger had been a reflex. Now she stood with her gun still trained on him, frozen in action. What was her next move? 

Suddenly Skinner leapt at her, both of his hands grasped her gun as he tried to wrench it out of her hands.

“No!” They grappled, she tried to regain her grip on the gun. To get it away from him.

“Yes Sarah...” Skinner spoke through gritted teeth with great effort, trying to pull the weapon towards him.

Her hand slipped and the gun went flying out of both of their hands. Skinner went to go after it but Sarah tackled him before he could, “You’re going to pay for what you did you son of a bitch.”   
She was trying to pin him down, but the wet forest ground made it difficult. Skinner blindly patted the ground around him and his hand reached a rock, gripping it firmly he swung back and struck her in the head sending her sprawling.

Sarah rolled with the impact and laid on the ground, her vision had turned bleary. Skinner was still going for the gun though, so she pushed herself to her feet her hands slipping on the wet leaves. When her foot hit something solid she looked down and saw it was her Glock. Looking back up, Sarah saw Skinner standing across from her, still clutching his abdomen with one hand and holding the rock in the other. He had kicked the gun over to her.

“You have a choice Sarah.”

Then he ran at her, the rock was raised and ready to strike again. Instinct and adrenaline took over, Linden bent down and grabbed the gun, then aimed and fired.

Skinner fell to the ground unmoving. He was dead.

“No...” Sarah was trembling, her entire body was shaking. She stared into her former lover’s empty lifeless eyes.

“Linden!”

Her knees gave out, and she fell to the ground. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his.

“Linden!”

Holder ran up to the scene, alerted by the gunshot. He saw Linden kneeling with the gun in her hand, mere feet away from the lieutenant’s body. 

“Oh no. No, no, no...” he ran forward, close enough to see Skinner was truly dead and shook his head in denial and horror. “No, no, no...” 

Linden let out a strained gasp, Holder bent forward in front of her, “Linden?” He gently pried the gun from her grasp and tossed it aside before gently moving his hands to her chin, “Look at me.” She didn’t acknowledge him, “Sarah, look at me.” 

Slowly her gaze moved up to his, her eyes were empty, her mouth partially opened. A gash at her temple oozed blood down her face, he did a quick once over of the rest of her person, “You hurt anywhere else?”

She stared at him seemingly confused, “He wanted me to do it. I... I tried not to.”

He shook his head, “Linden... I called backup, I’m sorry. I called them before...” he couldn’t finish the sentence, he looked lost. “they’ll be here soon.” Just then they could hear the sirens approaching. Holder slammed his eyes shut, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Sarah said softly, she understood.

“I’m so sorry,” Holder’s hands shook, still underneath her chin. Her hands grasped his wrists, steadying them. When he looked up and she was there, looking into his eyes.

“It’s alright. Do what you need to do.”

Holder’s mouth opened in a sort of silent sob, he stood up and turned away, his arms going over his head. “FUCK!”

The sirens were closer now.

“Holder... Stephen please,” he turned back around and his stomach lurched. Linden was kneeling on the wet ground, her hands were on the top of her head with her fingers laced together. She wanted him to be the one to do it. 

Holder’s hands shook as he reached for his belt and took out his pair of handcuffs. As he walked toward Sarah time seemed to slow down, Holder closed one of the cuffs around her wrist, “We’re going to figure this out Sarah,” he cuffed her other hand, unshed tears shining in his eyes. “I promise you, I swear we will.” The police officers entered the vicinity.

“I know... I trust you,” Linden said quietly.

A light rain had started to fall. The officers watched as Holder perp walked his partner to a patrol car.


	2. Chapter 2

Holder didn’t know how he’d managed to read Linden her rights without throwing up, but he’d done it. Now he stood watching the back of Linden’s head in the patrol car as it pulled away and drove into the rain, her head of red hair disappearing with it. He was soaking wet from head to toe, the hood of his hoodie had fallen down and rain drops dripped down his neck into his shirt. But he didn’t care, he couldn’t. All he felt was numb.

“Holder,” it was Reddick.

Holder turned to meet his former partner’s gaze, Reddick looked at him with something akin to pity. Holder didn’t want it, he clenched his jaw and glared at him. Without a word Holder turned and walked away, his shoes squelching in the rain.

—

Linden hadn’t said a word since she had gotten into the car. Unable to speak, almost as if she had swallowed her tongue. She sat silently in the backseat, unaware of how much time had passed. When she looked down at herself she saw that blood spatter on her jeans and felt sick. She slammed her eyes shut.

The patrol car pulled up to the Seattle Police Station in downtown, and the uniform behind the wheel got out and opened the back door. He hooked his arm through Linden’s and used his other arm to put a hand on her head as he pulled her out of the car then led her to the front of the station.

As they walked through the double doors, Sarah kept her eyes down as they made their way down the hall. She could feel the eyes of her peers fixating on her, at the blood on her clothes, at the handcuffs around her wrists.

The uniform and Linden walked into an interrogation room and he led her over to the metal chair reserved for suspects. He un-cuffed her hands from behind her back, then re-cuffed them in front before directing her to sit in the chair. Once she sat down, the cop walked out of the room, and left Sarah alone with her demons.

—

Reddick had insisted he drive Holder from the crime scene back to the city. The younger detective had been silent the entire drive back, lost in his thoughts. It was only when he noticed Reddick was driving him home that Holder spoke.

“What the hell are you doin’?” Holder asked non-politely.

Reddick adjusted himself in the car seat and his grip tightened on the steering wheel, “You can’t see her, I’m sorry Holder.”

Holder’s face twisted with rage, “Fuck that, take me to the station!”

“Holder—”

“Take me to the fucking station Reddick!”

Reddick glanced at the intense expression on Holder’s face and shook his head before turning the car around.

—

When they pulled into the precinct parking lot, Holder opened his door but froze when Reddick placed a hand on his arm, “You stay in observation.”

Holder glared at him, “Man, fuck off.”

Reddick grabbed his jacket, “I mean it, I see you anywhere else I’ll charge you with obstruction.”

Holder shrugged off Reddick’s hand and opened the car door leaving without looking back.

—

Sarah looked down at her hands on the table, her pupils glued to the handcuffs and the distorted reflection of herself she could see in them. She didn’t know how long she had been sitting in interrogation, and she didn’t care.  
With the two way mirror on the wall, Sarah knew anyone could be watching her and that allowed herself to keep her feelings at bay, she was determined she wouldn’t break down in front of anyone. All the same, the days events were playing over and over in her head.

The ring.

Jimmy. All of those girls.

Ray Seward, condemned to death, and Jimmy letting it happen.

Adrian. God, Adrian.

She had loved a monster.

She should have seen it. She should have known. Skinner had been so insistent Ray Seward was the perp who did in Trisha Seward. Sarah gave up trying to convince him. Well, “gave up” was putting it lightly, she ended up in the psych ward.

_“I should have seen.”_

_“You didn’t see because you didn’t want to see.”_

She was so goddamn fucked up. It was a good thing she sent Jack to Chicago. He deserved a chance at a better life. It was like she had told Pastor Mike as he sat in the back of her holding a gun on her, I have nothing left to give. And what she could give, was fucked up.

Linden wanted to tear her hair out, bang her head on the table. She——

The door to the room opened and Reddick walked inside carrying a file and a small recorder, “Detective Linden.”

Reddick sat across from her, opening up a file with some blank paper, then he placed the recorder down in the middle of the table and turned it on.

“Detective Carl Reddick, interview commencing at 11:34 p.m. with Sarah Linden.” He clicked a pen and looked up at her, “Please tell me what happened tonight. In your own words.”

Sarah looked up at him slowly, then after a beat looked back at her hands, “Holder was taken by I.A. so I had called Lieutenant Skinner several times to ask him to sort it out, but was unable to reach him. I went to his home and found him, as we were leaving his wife and daughter arrived. And I saw...” her jaw trembled. “I saw that his daughter was wearing a ring... one of the victim’s rings.”

“How did you know?” he asked.

Her eyes moved up to look at him as her head stayed still giving off a dark impression, “It had a very unique look and style.”

Reddick cleared his throat, “What happened next?”

“We left the house, and the way he... Skinner looked at me he knew that I knew, what he had done. I pulled my gun on him, and he told me that if I wanted to see Adrian alive I would go with him. I had him hand over his gun, and I tried to arrest him... but he said if I did Adrian would die out there alone. I had him get in the car and take me to where Adrian was,” Sarah breathed out shakily. “It was by his lake house. He said there were more girls in the lake. And then... he said he had killed Adrian, and I shot him,” her sentence hung in the air, Reddick didn’t say anything. “He was kneeling, bleeding... I still had my gun on him. He lunged at me and knocked the gun out of my hands. We struggled, Skinner managed to pick up a rock and he hit me in the head before he went back for the gun. He slid it over to me on the ground, then he came at me with the rock again, and I shot him again.” She looked up, “That’s what happened.”

Reddick didn’t say anything for beat, then he turned off the recording, “Adrian is alive, I found him at his mother’s grave. He went to go be with her, so Skinner lied to ya.”

Linden closed her eyes and let out a breath, she pursed her lips and nodded, “What now?”.

He cleared his throat and put the paper back in the folder, “You’ll be taken into custody. Tomorrow the DA will decide which charges will be filed.” Reddick stood up with the file and took the recorder. Turning to leave he stopped with his hand on the door handle and turned back to her, “I’m sorry Linden.” Then he was gone.

—

Holder watched from behind the mirror. Unmoving and still numb.

—

An officer took Sarah down to processing. Normally the first thing they would do would be to take fingerprints, but they didn’t have to take hers as they already had her prints in the system from her work on the force. She had to wait for a female officer to be called down, so that she could be patted down.

“Arms out, spread your legs.”

Sarah did as she was told not saying a word, her jaw clenched. The officer shook out her jacket and patted down the pockets, then she checked each of her legs individually and did the same with her arms. Afterwards Sarah was placed her in front of the mug shot wall and they took her picture. The same female officer escorted her to a closet with bins of orange shirts and pants in various sizes.

The officer watched as Sarah undressed, “No wire bras.” She held out a bin for her to put her clothes in.

Linden unhooked her bra and placed it in a bin along with her pants, sweater, shirt, and jacket. They wouldn’t let her keep her hair tie either because of the metal. Sarah changed into the orange shirt and pants, the material rough and hard on her skin.  
After she was dressed, the officer handcuffed Sarah in a transport restraint, with her hands cuffed to a set of handcuffs attached to a chain that was connected to a pair of ankle cuffs. They led Linden down a hall and called for the bars of a cell to be opened. The bars slid open slowly with a loud clang, and Sarah was walked inside before they took off the restraints. Then the cell door slid to a close with another loud clang, and she was left in the middle of the small cell alone. All there was, was a toilet in one corner and a bed in another. Her dark dismal surroundings mirrored the way she felt. She sat on the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest then closed her eyes.

—

Holder sat with the lights turned off in his office at Seattle P.D. He had watched as Linden had been escorted out, then he had gone straight to the office and hadn’t spoken or moved since. Suddenly the lights turned on, but he didn’t react.

“Holder...”

It was Reddick again. Holder didn’t want to hear it, he shook his head and spoke with a growl, “Get the fuck outta here.”

“Holder please. I...”

Holder slammed his hand down on the desk and glared at him, “What the fuck did I just say?!”

“Would you just listen to me for one goddamn second?!” Reddick screamed, “Jesus Christ Holder I’m trying to help you. Help both of you!”

Holder ground his teeth and scowled, “What?”

—

_“Are you here for Adrian, or is it because you need to understand how you could have made love to me just a few hours ago?”_

_“Don’t do that.”_

_“It meant something, Sarah. Admit it. You loved me, Sarah.”_

_“Because I didn’t know you.”_

_“No. But a part of you did. Part of you did.”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“No, you knew something. You knew something. I mean, that’s why you ended up in the hospital. But you still loved me.”_

Sarah shot up in bed, a scream trapped in the back of her throat. The defense she had put up earlier to fight her emotions and keep them at bay had fallen apart as she slept. Suddenly she was sobbing, crying, and fighting the urge to scream. There was nothing she could do, absolutely nothing. She grabbed the flat pillow and held it, as she rocked back and forth.

_“It meant something, Sarah. Admit it. You loved me Sarah.”_

She screamed into the pillow, then threw it to the other side of the cell. Standing up she began to pace in a circle, trying to get Skinner out of her head.

_“You knew something. I mean, that’s why you ended up in the hospital.”_

Sarah slammed her whole body into the wall, she banged her palms and then her fists against the cement. It was all she could do not to bang her head.

_“But you still loved me.”_

...Or not.

She threw her head against the wall, turned her back against it and slid down to the floor. Linden curled her hands into fists and hit herself in the head, then her thighs and she screamed. She grabbed the back of her hair and didn’t let go as she sat on the ground with her head between her legs, still sobbing, her throat raw with her screams. There were guards outside her cell alerted by the outburst, but they had come too late, it was over. All that was left was the grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this was going to be a one-shot but here I am studying about criminal law in the state of Washington on Google so hang tight. I don’t know where this is going anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

First thing the next morning Holder met Reddick outside of the jail (a patrol officer had driven his car back from the woods), and they went to go see the warden.

  
Now Holder and Reddick stood in the warden’s office. Julie Ortega, she seemed like a nice enough woman, quite very welcoming and wore a neat grey business suit with a white blouse and her black hair tied up tight in a bun. Her face though, was not so nice when the detectives asked to see Linden.

  
“I don’t know if I can let you see her,” Ortega said eyeing both of the cops. “Not after last night.”

  
“Why, what happened?” Reddick asked.  
The warden pursed her lips, “She tried to put her head through the wall after having—what I can only describe as an emotional breakdown. I’m putting her on suicide watch.”

  
The phrase caused panic to flare through Holder, “No! You can’t do that please, she’s not suicidal. I can vouch for her.” He showed his badge, even though she already had seen it and clearly knew who they were, “I’m a homicide detective, you can trust me right?”  
Reddick put his hand on Holder’s badge pushing it down, “If you let us talk to her, I think we might be able to make this easier on everyone. Promise.”

  
The warden took a very long moment, before nodding. “Fine.”

  
—

  
Linden sat in one of the jail’s interview rooms, her handcuffed hands resting on the table and looking at her own distorted reflection again. Every time she blinked, she saw Jimmy’s lifeless empty eyes, and she was so focused on trying NOT to see that she had shut out everything else around her. She didn’t even react when the door opened and Holder came inside with Reddick.

  
“Hey Linden,” Holder sat across from her, while Reddick stood by the door with his arms crossed. “How you holdin’ up?” Linden didn’t acknowledge him, when she had been in the psych hospital she had at least acknowledged him, even if she had been drugged to the gills. “Yo, Linden.” He reached out and tapped her wrist.

  
Sarah jerked and looked up, “Holder?” Her voice was hoarse and quiet, her eyes darted to the corner of the room to Reddick.

  
“They wouldn’t let me come see you on my own.” Holder said somewhat apologetic.

“Also... he came to help you out.”

  
“Help? I don’t need any help. I killed him, I shot Jim— Skinner. Lieutenant Skinner.”

  
Holder sort of froze and looked away while Reddick shifted his feet and cleared his throat, “I didn’t hear that.”

  
“Yes you did.” Sarah narrowed her eyes, “You did. I told you.”

  
The older detective cleared his throat and took a step towards her, “Look Linden, I know this is a tough situation—”

  
Sarah laughed coldly, “A tough situation? Are you kidding me?!” She gaped at him, “I’ve become the very thing I’ve dedicated years of my life to taking down. What kind of fucked up poetry is that?”

  
“I know an attorney, and I’ve spoken with him about you. About your case,” Reddick said, deciding to bulldoze over her. “He thinks he can make sure, no matter what they charge you with—he can plead justifiable homicide.”

  
Sarah stared at Reddick, “Justifiable? But...”

  
“In the state of Washington, deadly force used by a cop is justifiable if met by the Good Faith Standard.”

  
“I know what justifiable homicide is,” Linden said through gritted teeth. “But what I described to you wasn’t justifiable.”

  
“Well, that’s what the attorney’s for.”

  
She eyed him suspiciously, “Why are you helping me?”

  
“Look,” Reddick said firmly. “James Skinner was a demented, corrupt, son of a bitch cop and I’m not letting him take down another GOOD cop with him.”

  
“Carl... you don’t even like me,” Sarah said shaking her head.

  
“Yeah well maybe I’m not talking about you.”  
Holder felt his face flush and looked away from Linden just as she turned to look back at him. She looked back at Reddick, “How?”

  
“All you have to do is agree to meet with him. You also have to try to not throw your head through a wall from now on. I mean, Jesus, Linden.” Reddick shook his head.

  
It was Sarah’s turn to flush and turn away. After a moment she asked quietly, “When?”

  
“He can be here later today. Is this you agreeing?”

  
Sarah met Holder’s gaze and he pleaded with her, “C’mon Linden. Just meet with the guy.”  
She swallowed, “Alright, I’ll do it.”

  
—

  
Holder had smoked a whole pack of cigarettes by the time the lawyer showed up at the jail. Through an unspoken agreement, he and Reddick hadn’t really talked as they waited in the parking lot outside of the jail.

  
“This is him,” said Reddick as a black car pulled into the parking lot.

  
Marcus Hunt was a 40-something African American, he was tall, fit, he wore a tailored black suit and tie, and he carried a black briefcase. Holder never would have pegged him for a lawyer if Reddick didn’t introduce him as one.

  
“Carl!” Hunt called to Reddick when he spotted the detective in the lot. The two men shook hands, then Hunt turned to Holder, “You must be Detective Holder.”

  
“Yeah I be,” Holder put his hand out for the attorney to shake.

  
Hunt nodded, “Well, shall we go inside?”

  
—

  
For the second time that day, Sarah sat in the interview room, staring at her distorted reflection in the handcuffs.  
The door opened and in walked a man with a briefcase, “I’m Marcus Hunt, your attorney. Carl Reddick spoke to you about me?”  
Sarah nodded staring up at him from her seat. Hunt sat down across from her and put his briefcase down.

  
“Alright, I’m going to lay out the facts first Ms. Linden. As you well may know, in the state of Washington manslaughter charges are only valid when a death is caused by negligence, or recklessness. Based on the statement you gave to Detective Reddick, neither of these apply, so that automatically means manslaughter is off the table.” She nodded, she had come to that conclusion herself last night as she sat against the cement wall coming down from her breakdown. “Now I have some bad news... I have confirmed that the DA has charged you with murder in the second degree.”

  
Sarah felt as though the air had been punched out of her chest.

  
“Here’s the good news: I think I can get these charges dropped against you. But in order for me to do that, I’m going to need you to tell me anything you can about your relationship with James Skinner, anything and everything. I need you to rub yourself raw, dig the wound and make it deeper. It’s going to be hard... and you may hate me. It’s okay if you do. I’m not here to be your friend. I’m here to get you out of here. Alright?”

  
Linden looked at him for a moment not answering right away. She certainly wasn’t eager to do what he was asking, but what other choice did she have? “...Alright.”

  
Hunt nodded and opened his briefcase pulling out a notepad and pen that he clicked. He went back inside the case and pulled out a recorder, like the one Reddick had used, and he clicked that on too. “Let’s get started. I already have your testimony from Detective Reddick, so let’s focus on the other facts I need to learn about okay? When did you first meet James Skinner?”

  
Sarah shifted in her seat, “3 years ago, I was partners with James Skinner on the force...”

  
“Was the relationship strictly work related?”

  
She clenched her jaw, “No. We were having an affair.”

  
He nodded and took more notes, “Continue.”

  
“We got a case, a body in an apartment. It had been 5 days since the victim had been killed so the body was decomposing and the smell alerted the neighbors. The victim was a hooker, she’d been slashed to death, her 6-year-old son was inside the apartment. The dad had been seen leaving the apartment through the window and Skinner was convinced he was the doer, and had him put away within a few days. I thought something was off, I was sure something was off,” her tone intensified and her chest had begun to rise and fall more and more rapidly. “I waited with her son for CPS. Adrian, that’s his name, he was drawing the same picture over and over... it had to have meant something.”  
A tear fell down Sarah’s face but she so far gone in her head that she didn’t even notice, “I tried telling Skinner but he wouldn’t listen. None of them would listen. But I knew... I knew...” A dry sob escaped her throat, “I didn’t let it go, I couldn’t. I became obsessed, I neglected myself, my own son... all because I needed to find the truth. Jack called Regi and she brought me to the hospital and had me committed.” A spark of anger flared in her and her voice became dangerous, “And James let it happen. Skinner knew I was right but he still let it happen, left me in that place for a month because I lost my fucking mind thinking we had gotten it wrong. And I was right, because he did it. Jimmy killed her.”

  
“Who are Jack and Regi?”

  
Sarah snapped out of her spiral and looked up. She had almost forgotten Hunt was there, and had become aware of the tears staining her face. Hurriedly she wiped away the tears and cleared her throat, “My son Jack, and Regi is—was, my social worker. She’s a good friend.”

  
Hunt nodded wrote down something else, “Continue.”

  
She had to think for a moment, “By the time I got out of the hospital he had moved on, Skinner I mean. He had been promoted because of the Seward case. I didn’t see him again until this year. When I heard about the young woman who was found, Holder had come to me and asked if it could be the same killer. I said no, because we had caught the guy, but I couldn’t stop the doubt from creeping in. I went to Skinner, and he said what he had said before, that we had caught the right guy.

  
“I took out Adrian’s drawing again and went to the woods... found the bodies of the girls, and rejoined the force to help the investigation. I worked under Skinner, he was the lieutenant in charge of the task force. I thought I finally convinced him of Ray Seward’s innocence, he said he believed me. But Seward still hung and Skinner did nothing about it. He showed up at my house, said he wanted to make sure I was okay. He told me his marriage was over. And we...”

  
Sarah stopped abruptly unable to bring herself to utter the words about what she and Skinner had done that night. Hunt looked at her unapologetic, “You’re going to have to say it.” Hunt said.

  
Linden glared at him then swallowed attempting to lubricate her dry throat, “We slept together. The next day I tried calling him for help when Holder was detained by IA, but I couldn’t reach him. I went to his house and he was packing. We were about to leave when his wife and daughter came home. That’s when I noticed his daughter was wearing the ring of one of the missing girls. You should have the rest from Reddick’s records.”

  
Hunt nodded and finished writing something. He clicked his pen and stopped the recording.

“Are you feeling okay?”

  
She scowled at him, “What do you think?”

  
Hunt gave her a platonic smile, “This is good Ms. Linden. You’ve given me everything I need. I really think we will pull this off,” he started putting his things away, “Your sentencing and arraignment is a few hours away. Try to relax before then. You’re a decorated officer, no flight risk... I think we’ll be able to get you home in a few days. On the off chance they take this to trial, you post bail, go home, and we kick their asses in court.” He stood up, “We can do this Ms. Linden.” He held out his hand. She moved her handcuffed hands out together and shook his hand. “Is there anything else I can do for you right now?”

  
She shook her head. Hunt nodded and turned to leave, but stopped. He turned back, “Miss Linden, I may say some things in court that will make you sound weak, and helpless. Please know, whatever I say is in your best interest. Don’t react. And don’t speak unless I ask you to.”

  
She nodded. Hunt turned and walked out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

A few hours after meeting with Hunt, Linden was escorted out of her cell and put into the same transport restraints as the day before. She and her escort walked through the halls of the jail, stopping periodically as the guard called for gates to be opened so that they could walk through the passages. Eventually, they made it to a plain white door which buzzed open and led to outside where a white van waited, its engine idling. 

The guard opened the door of the van, and indicated that Sarah should climb inside, so she did. The door closed and the guard hit the van twice, then it pulled away. 

Linden thought about the murderers she had put away during her career, and how many of them had gone through this same procedure. Of course all of them would have, and now she did too, because now she was the murderer.

King County Superior Court was located in the District Court building and was right next to King County Adult Detention, so the drive didn’t wasn’t very long. Transport still had to be done though, the van pulled up to the loading bay and the door was opened. Another guard took Linden’s arm and pulled her out of the van and towards the steps of the courthouse. Then to her utter horror, a slew of reporters and photographers swooped in on the two of them. Questions were being yelled from every direction, microphones were shoved in her face.

“Ms. Linden, will you be pleading guilty?”  
“Ms. Linden, was a crime of passion? Were you sleeping with James Skinner?”

“Ms. Linden, did you know James Skinner was the Pied Piper? Is that why you took matters into your own hands?”

“Ms. Linden did you help kill those girls?”

Sarah wanted to run away, she could feel herself shutting down and the panic setting in. She just needed to get in the goddamn building, how far up the stairs were they? She couldn’t tell.

Suddenly, the reporters were dissipating, “My client has a court appearance to make, she will not be taking any questions at this time.” It was Hunt. He had sidled in and stolen the attention of the reporters, allowing Sarah to continue into the courthouse and she was grateful for it.

Once inside the courthouse, she was taken to a holding area where she waited for the arraignment to begin. Sarah didn’t think she would see Hunt before then, but he had come inside about 5 minutes after she had seen him on the steps of the courthouse.

“The vultures are circling,” he said bitterly. “Hopefully they won’t have too much to feed on after today. The story has gained some national attention.”

“I didn’t know,” Linden said quietly.

“I’m not sure how it was leaked. If I did I would already be filing a lawsuit for privacy infringement. But now that’s it’s blown so wide...” he sighed and shook his head. “Alright, upwards and onwards. I’ll see you inside Ms. Linden. Hang in there.”

Hunt gave Sarah a small nod, which she reciprocated.

——

“Damn media circus.” Reddick said darkly looking at the reporters.

Holder was beyond words he was so furious. He and Reddick had watched from the side as Linden had made her way up the steps only to be bombarded by the reporters. Hunt had diverted their attention and she’d made it into the courthouse without further incident.

“Alright c’mon,” Reddick said. “Head inside, should be in less then an hour.”

Holder’s eyebrows furrowed, “Your not comin’?”

Reddick shook his head, “I’ll see you after. Keep your head on.”

Holder nodded, “Will do.” He turned and went inside.

——

Holder stood at the back of the courtroom as the clerk read the dockets. Linden’s would be coming up soon. He had left his standard hoodie at home, choosing instead to go back to the suit and tie he had come to wear when he was partnered with Reddick.

“Bring in the next case,” the judge called.

“The people versus Sarah Linden,” called the clerk. Holder straightened, he saw Linden being brought in, still in the chains she had worn on the steps of the courthouse. She didn’t see him at the back of the room though, he had hoped she would so that she knew she wasn’t alone. He looked over to the right to see the prosecution and the district attorney. With what felt like a punch to the gut he saw that it was Caroline; his fucking girlfriend who had failed to mention her involvement in the case.

Caroline cleared her throat, “Your honor at this time the people would like to file with the court a one count complaint against defendant Sarah Linden, date of birth July 17, 1973. The people are filing one count of murder in the second degree, pursuant to Washington State Code 9A.32.050.”

The judge turned to Sarah, “Do you understand the charges as read to you Miss Linden?”

“Yes your honor,” Sarah nodded. 

“How do you plead?”

Sarah opened her mouth to reply, but suddenly found that she couldn’t speak, heart sped up and her chest was tight. The courtroom melted away, she was in the forest and Jimmy was coming at her with the rock in his hand. She grabbed the gun up off of the ground and pulled the trigger, the force of the shot reverberating in her ears.

“Miss Linden?”

James Skinner’s eyes no longer held life, and it was her doing. Sarah had taken away that life. A man she loved, a monster... gone in an instant because of her actions.

“Sarah.” A firm squeeze on her shoulder focused her attention, she looked up into Hunt’s eyes. “You’re okay Sarah,” he said quietly. “Breathe, just focus on your breath.”

She gulped in air, and would have stumbled backwards if not for Hunt’s firm grip on her shoulder keeping her steady.

“Councilman, we need your client to enter her plea,” the judge said unaware of the turmoil unfolding before him.

Hunt turned to the judge, “My apologies your honor, my client is suffering from some trauma that is currently affecting her person.” He looked back at Sarah and gave her a nod. 

She refocused on the judge, she knew what she was supposed to do. Hadn’t she watched it so many times before?

“Not guilty,” she said breathily. Instead of letting go, Hunt kept his hand on Sarah’s shoulder. She surprised herself by not shrugging him off.

The judge nodded, “As to the issue of bail?”

“The people request bail be set at $150,000.” Caroline stated.

“Your honor, my client is a decorated police detective who poses no flight risk. We request bail be lowered to $75,000.”

“For a murder charge?” Caroline said incredulously, glancing at Hunt and then the judge.

“Again, Sarah Linden poses no flight risk. She has served this city for many years as a decorated officer of Seattle P.D., and is as I just mentioned, currently suffering from serious trauma that needs addressing. That can’t be done in a jail cell.”

The judge thought for a moment looking back and forth from Caroline, to Hunt, to Sarah. Finally he spoke, “Bail is set at $100,000. Trial will commence at a future date to be announced.” The gavel banged.

Hunt squeezed Sarah’s shoulder and she turned to look at him again, “I’m going to expedite your bail process, you’ll get the psych interview today and be able to post later.”

Sarah shook her head, “I can’t afford—”

Hunt waved his hand to stop her, the guard was trying to pull her away, “Don’t worry about that Sarah.” He looked dead serious and met her gaze, “You’re going home today.”

Sarah was pulled away by the guard, Hunt turned and looked to the back of the courtroom where Holder stood. Hunt gave him a nod with a small jerk of his head, which the detective reciprocated.

——

Linden’s near panic attack in court had wore her down, and she didn’t recall how she made it through the next few hours. It was as though she weren’t in control of her actions, she was merely a steed driving a cart: she went where she was told to go.

She didn’t remember getting back into the van, or arriving back at the jail, or even the interview with the jail’s therapist. After the courtroom, the next thing she remembered was being handed a set of her own clothes and being told to get changed. Linden had stared at the hair tie on top of the clothes for a few moments before it occurred to her what was happening.

Sarah changed and was escorted out of the jail, not in chains. Stepping outside she felt the same damp chilly air that had been present in the morning as she had walked up the steps of the courthouse. Ahead she saw Holder waiting by his car, with his arms crossed and his face shadowed. When he met her eyes though, Holder gave a small smile. She didn’t return it.

“Yo Linden,” he said quietly as she stood just a few feet away from him. “Ready to get the hell out of doge?”

All she could do was nod, Holder jerked his head towards the car. “Hop on in. I’ll take you home.”

——

Hunt walked up to the Caroline in the hallway of the courthouse.

“Hunt,” Caroline said shortly. “That was some bullshit you pulled in court with the Linden case.”

“You and I both know it wasn’t Swift,” Hunt bit back. “You should have accepted the lower bail.”

Caroline gave him a sober look, “Sarah Linden murdered James Skinner, we can’t condone cops who become vigilantes.”

Hunt shook his head incredulously, “Skinner killed 20 something girls, and after all Sarah Linden has done for the city you’re going to just throw her to the wolves?”

She huffed, “She’s not entirely clean. Linden’s made her fair share of mistakes and burned plenty of bridges.”

Just as she made to walk away Hunt stepped into her path, “Was one of them yours?”

Caroline scowled at him, “I’ll see you in court Hunt.” She walked away.

——

Holder drove in silence with Sarah, her head leaned against the window as she watched the other cars drive by. The glass felt cool against her skin, it helped as her mind raced and tried to process the past few hours.

“How did I get out?” 

Holder glanced over at her startled she had finally spoken, “What’s that now?”

Sarah turned to him, “Bail was set at $100,000 and I don’t have that kind of money. So how did I get out?”

Holder ducked his head and his face turned slightly pink, “Does it matter? You got out Linden. Your other clothes were taken in as evidence so I picked up a new set from your house and brought ‘em to the jail. Now you’re here.”

“Holder,” some of her regular bite returned to her voice. “How did I get out?”

He rubbed a hand over over his face, “It was Jack. The case went national, little man saw it on the news. He got on “Deadbeat” and made ‘im do it. I helped out a lil’ bit too.”

Sarah paled, “Stop the car.”

“Look, Linden—”

“Stop the goddamn car!”

Holder pulled alongside a curb, Sarah flung the door open and only got a few feet away before she fell to her knees and threw up. 

She should be crying she thought, but the tears wouldn’t come. Her son, the love of her life, knew his mom was a murderer. Jesus. She sat on the ground next to her vomit, the acrid smell stinging her nostrils. Bending forward she put her head between her legs and placed her hands on the back of it.

Suddenly she could feel Holder’s presence behind her. She heard him as he sat down next to her, but refused to look up at him.

“I’m sorry Linden.”

Sarah scoffed, “What for? You didn’t pull the trigger,” she shook her head. “I’m paying you back, don’t argue with me about it.”

Holder nodded and didn’t push it. Hesitantly he placed a hand on her back, and slowly rubbed small circles onto it.   
After a while she spoke quietly, “He said I knew.”

“Say what?”

“He... he said I knew who, what he was. I just didn’t see it because I didn’t want to see it.”

Holder shook his head, “That man was a monster. And he manipulated you. You can’t trust what he said.”

Sarah didn’t answer at first, “I ended up in the hospital because a small part of me must have known. I knew, I knew Adrian was trying to tell me something. I knew Ray Seward was innocent, but Jimmy... he wouldn’t hear it. And it’s because he did it. But I pushed, and I pushed and I let down my own son. Neglected him, because I became obsessed. A small part of me must have known it was him...”

“Hey,” Holder put a hand under her chin just like he had the other night as Skinner’s body laid a few feet away. “It wasn’t your fault. That bastard manipulated you and he drove you to that point. He could have stopped it, but he didn’t. That’s on him, not you.”

Linden looked into his eyes, they were so close. Strong emotion emanated from his irises, a longing for her to trust him. Her head collapsed against his shoulder.

“I fucked up Holder,” Sarah said quietly. “Nothing’s ever going to be the same again.”

His arm went to her shoulder and he squeezed her towards him, “I got your back Linden. No matter what happens, I’ll be there for you.”

After a few more moments in silence, Linden stood up and went back to the car with Holder. They drove in silence for a while until she spoke again.

“Was that Caroline in the courtroom?”

Holder blew out a breath and rubbed his forehead. “Fuck me.”


	5. Chapter 5

In lieu of talking, Holder had pulled out a brand new carton of cigarettes that he and Linden spent the rest of the ride chain smoking while listening to a random radio station. By the time they pulled up to her house on Vashon, nearly all the cigarettes were gone, he immediately regretted this and wished they still had the pack when he saw the scene outside of her home though.

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” Holder hissed.

Hoards of reporters and news trucks were parked right outside of her front door. Linden took one look and wanted nothing more than to sink into the seat of the car. Holder glanced over and saw her shutting down again. Pissed off beyond belief, he shook his head and spun the steering wheel turning the car around sharply .

“Wha- what are you doing?” Sarah asked as they started to drive away from her house.

“You can’t stay here Linden.”

Her eyes narrowed, “This is my home Holder, I’m going to go home.”

“Nah, your not.”

Willing herself to stay calm, Linden tried to speak evenly as she could feel anger ebbing it’s way in, “Holder take me back now.”

“No.”

“I can make my own decisions,” her voice was growing louder.

“I’m making this one for you.”

“You don’t have the right to do that!”

“Watch me!”

Sarah lost control, she balled her hand up into a fist and swung out hitting Holder in the chest, again and again—just as she had done with Skinner on that fateful night. Except unlike Skinner, Holder didn’t lose control of the wheel and he didn’t try to stop her. He just took the beating, and pulled over slowly to the side of the road allowing her to pummel him as best as she could from where she was sitting.

When she had stopped, Holder waited a beat before he turned to her and asked, “You done?”

Sarah was heaving and breathing hard. She turned away and wiped the tears on her face, hating that Holder may have seen them. “I can’t even go home... I can’t stay at my own home,” she said quietly. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“Yes you can,” Holder said strongly. “You can Linden. You’re gonna get through this, you’re not alone.”

She looked out the window, “I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“Yes you do,” she looked at him and he grinned. “Mi casa, es su casa baby.”

Sarah narrowed her eyes again, “Your girlfriend is trying to put me away for twenty to life.”

Holder winced, “Yeah, there is that. But we’ll figure it out, no worries. I got you Linden.”

——

Holder opened the door to his apartment and gestured for Sarah to step inside. As she walked in she remembered how she had been here just the other day, when she had gone to console Holder over the loss of Bullet. Another life that Jimmy had ended and ripped away from the surface of the earth. That was one of the biggest differences between them: Skinner didn’t care for the lives he took, but she would always carry his with her now.

“Take a seat,” Holder snapped her out of the trance. “I’ll fix us some grub.” He said closing the door behind her.

“I’m not hungry,” Sarah shook her head.

“C’mon Linden, ya gotta eat.”

“No really Holder, I just... I want to sleep.”

Holder turned to look at her, the circles under her eyes were prominent. He nodded, “Yeah okay. Gimme like, 5 minutes I’ll fix up the bed.”

She shook her head, “You don’t need to—”

“Nah it’s fine, you can have the bed for now. Tonight I’ll make up the couch for you.”

He headed down the hall before she could object further. Linden sat down on the plush couch, and looked around the room not really seeing anything. Exhaustion had seeped deep into her bones and suddenly Sarah found that she couldn’t keep her eyes open. She leaned back into the couch and fell asleep.

Holder came out and found her out like a light on the couch. He slipped her boots and jacket off, then he gently picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. He had pulled back the covers for her, so he placed her on the soft mattress and pulled the cover up to her shoulders before he walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

——

Reddick drank a cup of coffee at the station, he and Jablonsky were waiting on a new case and in the mean time were doing some paper work on the Pied Piper fiasco.

The station was up in arms about Skinner, everyone was still in disbelief about the former lieutenant, and there was scrambling looking for a replacement lieutenant. Reddick looked up from the paper he was reading and saw a news report a small box television that Jablonsky kept on his desk. The headline read: Linden Posts Bail, Skips Town? The reporter stood outside of a white house that he was willing to bet belonged to Sarah Linden.

“Ah shit,” he grabbed his phone with the intent to call Holder, when he saw he had a text from the man.

_News crews outside, taking her to my place._

Reddick huffed a laugh, “She’ll love that.”

——

Holder’s front door opened and Caroline stepped inside, “Stephen?”

  
Holder sat on the couch smoking a cigarette watching Discovery Channel. He put out the cig and stood up, “Hey.” His voice wasn’t warm and welcoming like it usually was.  
She looked at him apprehensive, “Hey.”  
Holder crossed his arms, “Done with court for the day?”

  
Caroline sighed and stepped further into the apartment, “I didn’t know until this morning.”

  
“Bullshit you didn’t know!” He snapped.

  
“I’m just doing my job!”

  
Holder closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face, “Yeah, yeah I know. But...”

  
“I know,” she said softly.

  
The sound of footsteps on the wooden floor interrupted them, Caroline turned and saw Linden walking out of the bedroom. Both women froze at the sight of one another.

Holder bounded over to get in between the two of them and tried to diffuse the situation before anything was taken out of context.  
“News crews were at Linden’s house, I couldn’t leave her there alone and she’s got no place else to go.” Neither Caroline or Linden spoke, their eyes still fixed on one another. Holder couldn’t take it, “Someone please say somethin’ because this tension is too much for the week we’ve already had.”

  
“I should go,” Linden reached for her jacket.

  
Holder’s eyes narrowed, “Don’t be stupid Linden where ya gonna go?”

  
“I’ll find a hotel or, or something.” She wondered if Regi was in town and if she could convince her to take her in for a few nights.

  
“We’re all adults,” Holder reasoned. “We can live amongst each other in peace, can’t we?”

  
Caroline still didn’t say anything, and Linden took that as her due, “I appreciate the thought Holder. Thanks for letting me get a few hours sleep in a real bed, that wasn’t in a cell. I’ll see you soon.” She grabbed her jacket and walked out of the door.

  
“Shit,” Holder cursed, his hand going to his mouth. He turned back to Caroline, she was still frozen, “Ya couldn’ta helped me out with that?”

  
“Stephen...” Caroline said quietly, “how could you let her come here?”

  
His eyes bulged and he cried, “She’s my partner! My friend!”

  
“She killed someone!” Caroline cried back, “In cold blood!”

  
Holder shook his head and raised a finger, “You don’t know that’s how it went down!”

  
She squinted, “So what, that just makes it okay?!”

  
Holder shook his head and paced in a small circle. He had begun to build a life with Caroline, they were living together, she knew about his addictions... this couldn’t be the end could it? He didn’t want to lose her, he couldn’t. But he couldn’t lose Linden either. Fuck his life.

  
“I need you to understand,” he began quietly. “I’m not, not going to be there for her.”

  
Caroline quivered, “What about me? Are you going to be there for me?”

  
“You know I love you Caroline. But you need to be able to accept this.”

  
Caroline’s eyes shone with tears.

  
——

  
When she was taken into custody, Sarah’s wallet and phone had been in her jacket, so she called for a cab outside of Holder’s place. The cab dropped her off at the marina and she walked down the docks to find Regi smoking on the deck of her boat and looking out at the ocean.

  
Linden was a little nervous to see how Regi would react to her presence. There was no doubt that she would have the news coverage by now, and know what Sarah had done. When Regi turned and saw Sarah, she put out her cigarette and climbed off of the boat to walk towards her on the dock. They met halfway, then to Sarah’s surprise, Regi embraced her former charge.

  
“Oh Sarah,” Regi said softly. “I’m so sorry.”  
Hesitantly and slowly, Linden lifted her arms and hugged her back not knowing what to say.  
Regi pulled away and searched Sarah’s face, “Ellen’s making dinner. Do you want to come inside?”

  
Sarah hesitated, “I really don’t want to impose Regi. I’m not even sure why I came. It’s just...”

  
Regi wagged her head from side to side and placed a firm hand on Sarah’s back pushing her towards the boat.

  
Regi usually pried even when she knew Linden didn’t want her to, but Regi didn’t do that when they stepped on the boat. She invited Sarah to sit on the couch and relax, and then went to go help her fiancé with dinner.

  
Once she was alone, Sarah took out her phone for the first time since her arrest and release. She winced as when she saw there were 56 missed calls and texts, and 18 voicemails all from Jack. Linden went to the voicemails and put the phone to her ear:

  
“ _Mom it’s me, you need to call me now.”_

  
_“I don’t understand what’s going on. Call me back.”_

  
_“It’s on the news, call me. Please call me.”_

  
_“Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay. Call me back!”_

  
Sarah thought she had run out of tears, but there were fresh ones slowly making their way down her freckled cheeks. She couldn’t listen to anymore, she sniffed and feeling sick, dialed Jack’s number. He picked up on the first ring,

  
“ _Mom?_ ”

  
She tried to smile, “Hey Jack.”

  
“ _Mom! I can’t, it’s, I... mom..._ ” He began to cry.

  
“Shh, Jack...” She was crying too now, “Jack it’s, it’s all—” Linden couldn’t say it was okay or that it would all be okay. She didn’t have the energy to lie.

  
Jack sniffed, “ _Are, are you alright?_ ”

  
“I’m alright Jack,” she said as she wiped her face. “I’m okay.”

  
“ _Are you with Holder?_ ”

  
“No sweetie, he... I’m not with him. I saw him today though, earlier. I took a nap at his place and then I left.”

  
“ _Where are you now then? Are you safe?_ ” The urgency and fear in his voice broke her heart.

  
“Yes, yes of course I’m safe,” she said as calmly as she could manage. “I’m at Regi’s, she invited me onto the boat.”

  
“ _I kept calling you... I called you so many times and you never picked up._ ”

  
Linden slammed her eyes shut, “I know Jack, I’m sorry. I couldn’t call because...” she couldn’t finish the sentence.

  
“ _Yeah, dad reminded me. He said I got like, tunnel vision and forgot how things work. I wanted to go back to Seattle but he won’t let me._ ”

  
“You don’t need to be here Jack,” fear crept back into her, he couldn’t come back, not now. “Your father did the right thing. You’re fine in Chicago, and I’m just a phone call away.”

  
Jack paused for a moment then he said in a teary voice, “ _What if they put you away? What if I never see you again?_ ”

  
Sarah lost her composure, she sobbed and fell to her knees her hand still clutching the phone. She didn’t notice Regi come by her side and gently pry the phone from her fingers, talking tenderly to Jack. Sarah berated herself internally for becoming so emotional, something that should not have happened, not with Jack, not when he needed her to be strong.

  
When she got a handle on herself, Sarah looked up at Regi who was looking down at her saying, “I think she’s ready to talk again bud, alright? I’m going to hand the phone back to her.” Regi nodded and held the phone out for Sarah. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and took the phone.

  
“ _I’m sorry,_ ” Jack said.

  
“It’s not your fault,” Sarah replied firmly. “It’s not your fault Jack. Listen to me, no matter what happens I love you. I love you so, so much.”

  
“ _I love you too._ ”

  
Sarah nodded and smiled through her tears, “I’m going to say goodbye now alright? You have a good night, I’ll speak to you again soon.”

  
“ _Goodbye mom._ ”

  
“Bye Jack.”

  
She heard the phone click as Jack hung up. Slowly, shakily, Sarah got to her feet and sat back down on the couch putting her face in her hands. Regi rubbed her shoulder gently.  
“I’m sorry.” Linden said.

  
“You have nothing to apologize for,” Regi shook her head. “Nothing.” They stayed like that for a few moments before Regi spoke again, “Ellen should be done with dinner soon. Are you hungry?”

  
“No.”

  
The older woman huffed, “How did I know you were going to say that? Well, too bad for you I’ve been told to feed you. By not one, but two different men tonight. And you know how much I despise being told what to do by men.” Sarah looked confused, “Holder called earlier, thought you might stop by, and Jack of course.” Sarah didn’t say anything, Regi patted her shoulder gently, “C’mon Sar, grab a bite.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I doing. That’s it that’s the note.
> 
> Also there are some fictionalized elements relating to law for the sake of the story.

Ellen had been very welcoming towards Sarah much to her relief. The three women had eaten a fairly quiet dinner, Regi and Ellen chatted occasionally but Sarah hadn’t really spoken at all. After eating, Ellen had cleared the table and Regi made up the couch with a pillow and a blanket. Shortly after, Linden had thanked her and laid down on the couch falling asleep almost at once.

  
Sarah dreamed about Jimmy, about the way things used to be; before the Pied Piper, before Trisha Seward, before Adrian and Ray....

  
James and Sarah laid in bed together after a night of lust, passion, and love making. Now James held her close as they both panted and their hearts raced, Sarah’s back pressed into the front of his warm body, how happy and content she was lying in his arms.

  
Than suddenly, James’ body turned cold and clammy. She could no longer feel the pounding of his heart, his grip had slackened even though his arms were still wrapped around her. The bed had become wet, when Sarah looked down she saw blood was soaking through the sheets, spreading wider and wider. She shot up from his embrace sending his limp arms flying and flopping back to the mattress. When she turned to look at him Linden saw that his eyes were empty, and his mouth was slightly agape. He was dead.

  
Sarah shot up from the couch clutching her hands to her chest, her heart pounded and she fought the urge to be sick. A knock on the window of the boat caused her to jump, she looked up and saw that Holder was outside. Linden’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, she pulled the blanket off of herself and went to join him on the deck.

  
“What are you doing here?” Her voice was soft when she spoke, it was still early after all.

  
“I came to see if you were alright,” Holder shrugged with a small grin, that disappeared almost immediately. “Look, what happened yesterday...”

  
Linden waved him off, “It’s fine Holder. I get it, I do.”

  
He shook his head, “It ain’t fine. This is a huge clusterfuck and we’re all caught up in it,” he sighed. “I didn’t know Caroline had your case until I saw her in the courtroom.”

  
“Wait,” Linden stopped him. “You were there?”

Holder bobbed his head, “Hell yeah I was there. I was there for you. Didn’t want you to have to face that shit on your own. I’m sorry I couldn’t actually be by your side or whatnot, but thems the rules.”

  
Taken aback by this news, Sarah blinked and took a breath before she said, “Thanks Holder.”

  
“You’re my BFF, you know how we do,” he waved off her thanks.

  
She didn’t say anything for a moment, then unable to help herself she asked, “Caroline?”

  
Holder grumbled nonsensically and shifted his feet, “I told her she had to be okay with me supporting you and being there for you. She wasn’t too happy about that.” He turned and looked out at the ocean, “You know in the program, in your first year of sobriety they say not to get involved with anyone. No sex or nuthin’, you have to dedicate that kind of shit to yourself so you can focus on your recovery. After a year if you think your ready then you can move forward—but only if it doesn’t hinder your program.” Holder sighed and shook his head, “I met Caroline after a year... and I told myself I wouldn’t fuck it up. I’d give it a real try you know? I ain’t never been serious like that before. But after yesterday, shit, I don’t know...”

  
She swallowed, “I’m sorry Holder.”

  
He turned to look at her and gave her a stern look, “Now don’t be thinkin’ it’s your fault cause it ain’t. It’s about me needing her to trust in me, and support me in something I believe in.” He grinned, “Guess what the something is?”

  
Linden’s lip quirked up, “It can’t be me, I’m a someone.”

  
Holder rolled his eyes, “Alright fine, someone I believe in. Pfft, semantics.”

  
She gave him a rare smile, “That means a lot. Thank-you.”

  
“I got you Linden.” He looked around the deck, “Ya know, I never actually been on this thing. Not even when I came to see Regi when you were in the hospital. It looks—”

  
“Wait, What?!”

  
Holder froze, he’d never told her that. Hell, he’d never told her he was the one who had gotten in touch with Sonoma to get her out, “Um...”

  
Sarah’s eyes were sharp and narrowed, “You went to Regi? Why?”

  
He rubbed the back of his head, “I thought she might, you know... get you outta that place. I needed the name of your psychiatrist, but she wouldn’t give it to me.”

  
“What gave you the right, to pry like that?”  
Holder shrugged as he tried to reason, “Well, you told me she was your social worker.”

  
“So what, you just go ahead and go to her and ask for something as personal as my doctor?!” She had begun to shout.

  
So had Holder, “She wouldn’t do it alright?!”

  
“Why should I believe you?! Why?!”

  
The hurt on Holder’s face was palpable and he shook his head, “Damn Linden, ain’t ya ever gonna trust me?” Sarah only scowled at him.

  
“He only wanted to help Sarah,” at some point Regi had walked out into the deck and heard the conversation, most likely when the two detectives started yelling at each other. Linden turned to look at her and was about to speak when the woman held up her hand to stop her, “I didn’t give him the information. In fact, I told him that you being in there, might have been a good thing. Holder went to bat for you, just like he’s going to bat for you now. Don’t push him away, I know that’s what your gearing up to do, don’t deny it.” Linden’s face tightened, she closed her mouth and turned away. Regi turned to Holder, “Would you like some breakfast?”

  
He shook his head, “Nah, I think... I should go.”

  
“Nonsense, you’re joining us for breakfast. Ellen is a fantastic cook, I don’t know what she’s making but I can guarantee it’ll be delicious.” When she saw that Holder looked like he was about to object again, Regi raised a finger, “I’m not taking no for an answer, head inside. We’ll join you in a second, I want to talk to Sarah.” Holder numbly headed for the inside of the boat, “Make sure you duck, don’t hit your head.” Regi called after him. Once he was inside, she turned to Linden, “I’d ask what’s gotten into you, but you’ve always done this sort of thing.”

  
Linden scoffed defensively, “What’s that?” She knew full well what Regi meant.

  
Regi pinned her with a knowing look, “Push away the people who care about you most.”

  
Sarah shook her head, and began to pace feeling restless and determine to be convincing, “He’d be better off not caring about me. I draw people in and all I do... is destroy them. I destroy everything and everyone around me. I break things, and you can’t tell me it’s not true, or that I’m being dramatic Regi, because I’m not and you know it. Look at me,” she gestured to herself looking at the other woman incredulously. “I killed a man, a man that I loved, and he was a monster. He raped and murdered 21 girls that we know of, but there were more he told me there were more. And I fucking loved him, and shot him to death. I did that, he’s gone because of me, I took away his life.

  
“Thank god Jack got away, god only knows what I would’ve done to him too.” Her voice shook, and shaking her head she put her arms out desperately, “I don’t know what to do.”

  
“What’s the alternative Sarah?” Regi asked in a hushed tone, “Giving up on life?” When Linden didn’t respond she continued, “I don’t care what happened in that forest. And neither does Jack, or Holder for that matter. You have people who care about you, and who love you. I know you hate letting people in, much less relying on others. But this time, this one time... you may have to make an exception. This is something no one should go through alone. Let us be there for you.”

  
Sarah’s eyes were welling with unshed tears, “I don’t know how to do that.”

  
Regi gave her a small smile, “Accept it, and take it one step at a time.”

  
——

  
“You gotta be kidding me,” Reddick cried affronted.

  
“They want to see this case wrapped up and taken care of,” Hunt said solemnly. “Pretrial is tomorrow.”

  
“Shit...” Reddick paced and rubbed a hand over his mouth. “Have you told her yet?”  
Hunt shook his head, “No, I haven’t.” He paused and gave the detective a concerned look, “After what happened yesterday at the arraignment, I’m genuinely concerned about her mental state. I’m no doctor but it’s clear she’s suffering from some kind of post traumatic stress from the shooting. If we’re going to get this case dismissed she needs to be able to make it through without incident. If she doesn’t they may move for a mistrial, or have her mental health evaluated. I’m thinking our case scenario is we plea insanity.”  
Reddick shook his head, “I highly doubt she’ll go for that. When are you gonna speak to her?”

  
“As soon as possible. Is she with Detective Holder?”

  
Reddick nodded scratching his head, “She was at his place but she left—his girlfriend is the DA.”

  
Hunt, slightly amused, raised his eyebrows, “You guys are just a soap opera waiting to happen aren’t you?”

  
——

  
Regi, Ellen, Linden, and Holder had a quiet breakfast on the deck of the boat.

  
“Yo Ellen, this was amazing. I ain’t jus’ saying that either,” said Holder sitting back in his chair, a now empty plate in front of him.

  
“I’m so glad you enjoyed!” Ellen smiled and began to clear the plates.

  
“I’ll come help,” Regi called and went after her.  
That just left Linden and Holder sitting at the table. They sat awkwardly in silence for a few moments.

  
“I’m sorry,” Linden said quietly.

  
“What was that?”

  
“I’m sorry Holder, I... you’re right. This is a clusterfuck. I just keep thinking... it would be better for everyone else if I were on my own. No one else would have to deal with me, or my issues. And I absolutely hate feeling this raw and exposed. Even this, talking about my feelings like this? I don’t do that, I never do that. I can’t, keep...” she drifted off.

  
“It’s alright Linden,” said Holder a grin tugging at his lips. “No matter how hard ya try, ya ain’t gonna get rid of me. You’re stuck.”

  
Sarah gave him a small smile. Holder’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he reached inside flipping the device open, “Yeah?” As Sarah watched him, she knew whatever was being said on the other end of the line couldn’t be good. The smile had dropped from Holder’s face, and he looked incredibly stressed out, “The fuck?! That’s some Law and Order bullshit they can’t do that!” Holder paused as he listened to the person on the other line, “Fine. Yeah, fine.” He slammed the phone shut, “Fucking hell.” His head tilted up and his eyes met hers.

  
“What is it?” Linden asked apprehensively. Holder shook his head.

  
——

  
Marcus Hunt looked extremely out of place on the docks in his tailored business suit and briefcase. Nevertheless Hunt followed the instructions Holder had texted him and met him and Sarah on the deck of the boat they were on.

  
“Ms. Linden, Mr. Holder,” Hunt greeted as he climbed aboard. “Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I can tell that Mr. Holder has already explained the situation?” Sarah was solemn, and had a distant look in her eye, but she nodded in confirmation. Hunt gave his own sharp nod, “Here’s the plan then: tomorrow morning we’ll meet outside of the courthouse. The pretrial is when we will ask for the motion to dismiss,” he paused before continuing and looked directly into Sarah’s eyes. “This is also we plead insanity in which case—”

  
Sarah’s eyes widened and she gave a sharp shake of her head, “No.”

  
Hunt tried to reason with her, “Ms. Linden if I could—”

  
“No!” She stepped back from him, “Skinner put me in a psych ward once, I’m not letting him do it again.”

  
No one spoke for a moment after that. Finally Hunt conceded, “I understand. In that case, if the charges are not dismissed, they will set a trial date. Based on the way things are moving, I would say be ready to have this happen sooner rather then later. Alright?” Sarah nodded, and Hunt bobbed his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow at nine o’clock. Make sure to get some rest.” Hunt gave them a small smile then turned and left.

  
Holder shook his head still in disbelief, “This is the kind of shit you see on tv.”

  
“That Law and Order bullshit you were talking about earlier?” Sarah asked softly.

  
“Your arraignment was yesterday! They’re already going into pretrial? I mean damn... don’t they got other problems to deal with first?”

  
“It’s high profile, they’re still dealing with the fallout from the Pied Piper. They want someone to blame, and he’s dead so...” Her voice trailed off and she shrugged.

  
Holder turned to her, “It’s gonna be okay Linden.”

  
She shook her head, “I’m not too sure about that.”

  
“We gotta work on your optimism.”  
The glare that she gave Holder made his face break out in a wide grin.

  
——

  
The next day Linden and Holder stood on the steps of the courthouse at 8:57am.

  
“There’s no press here,” Holder said looking around. “That’s a good thing right?”

  
Sarah shrugged, she couldn’t find it in herself to speak, she hadn’t been able to all morning. Hunt walked from around the corner and joined them. “Ready Miss Linden?” Sarah nodded and Hunt turned to Holder, “Back of the room just like last time. Don’t draw attention to yourself.” Holder bobbed his head and the three of them went inside.

  
After going through the security checkpoints, the three of them waited outside of the courtroom for ten minutes before the court officer gestured for them to go inside. Linden felt as like her head was being pushed upon, and as she got closer to the front she could have sworn the path was stretching further and further, she wondered if they would ever make it to the front. Finally she and Hunt stood in front of the two chairs at the defendants table. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Caroline prepping her case papers at the plaintiffs table.

  
It started immediately, the clerk read from a paper, “The People V. Sarah Linden, on the count of murder in the second degree, code 9A.32.050, defendant has pleaded not guilty. Honorable Judge Hanes presiding.”

  
Judge Hanes looked up at Hunt, “Mr. Hunt is there any motion you would like to file at this time?”

  
“Your honor at the time we move to dismiss all charges, based the fact that Ms. Linden’s actions match the circumstances Washington State Lawn 9A.16.040, justifiable homicide.” Hunt said.

  
Caroline shook her head sharply, “The people deny this request your honor, we have evidence that will be presented in trial that proves that the act Ms. Linden committed was in fact not justifiable as a law enforcement officer.”

  
Holder slammed his eyes shut and lowered his head as his heart plummeted into his chest.  
Hunt responded snappishly, “We request that evidence be given to us prior to trial.”

  
“The people will do so,” Caroline glared over at him.

  
Hanes cleared his throat, “The charges stand, trial is set to begin next week. Jury selection will start the day after tomorrow.”

  
Sarah’s lawyer was indignant, “Your honor—”

  
“The people need to see this case put to rest councilman,” Hanes said simply. “That means having this trial as soon as possible.”  
Hanes brought down the gavel with a bang, Linden flinched on the impact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fictionalized elements are referred to as “Law and Order bullshit”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve gone OOC. 
> 
> RIP smileyjunior (and the standards she stood for, for over 10 years)
> 
> Side note: I’m writing these on my phone, if I miss any typos please let me know, they’re a giant pet peeve of mine!
> 
> Okay, now back to grieving.

“One week,” said Linden softly. She was standing outside of the courthouse with Hunt and Holder. She wasn’t even quite sure when they had walked outside, she’d been so she’ll shock at the judge’s words.

  
“I told you it would happen sooner rather then later,” Hunt looked at her then Holder.

“Although even I will admit I didn’t expect such a quick turnaround.”

  
“So... one week.”

  
Hunt eyed her with a hard look, “I need you to be able to keep it together Ms. Linden.”

  
That brought her out of shock. Sarah glared at the lawyer and snapped, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  
Holder put up a hand, “Woah Linden, chill aight?”

  
Sarah turned quickly on Holder, “Don’t tell me to chill, you’re not the one about to be put on trial that will determine the rest of your life.”

  
“I merely meant,” Hunt continued, “that if we’re not careful your mental health may be called into question. You asked me not to, so I won’t plead insanity, but I can’t help what everyone else sees.” Her jaw snapped shut and after a moment she nodded, “I’ll see you next week Ms. Linden.” Then he walked away.  
Holder turned to Linden, “So what do you wanna do?”

  
Sarah looked down at herself, “I want to go home.”

  
Holder nodded, “Alright let’s go.”

  
“What about the press?”

  
He waved her off, “Don’t sweat it, I got an idea about that.”

  
——

  
Holder and Linden pulled up to her house to find that Reddick was waiting outside leaning against his car. She turned to Holder suspicious, but he just grinned, “C’mon Linden.” He got out of the car and she followed suit albeit slowly.

  
“About time you two got here,” Reddick called.  
“Hey now patience is a virtue,” Holder said back, then he sobered up. “Nah but for real thanks for the help. It’s appreciated.”  
“Yeah I’m sure,” Reddick was eyeing Linden.  
Sarah seemed to understand, “You drove them off?”

  
Reddick scoffed and looked down, “Yeah, something like that.”

  
She nodded and gave a genuine, “Thank you.”  
The older detective rubbed the back of his head, “It was nothing. And I don’t know how long it’ll be until they come back. Now that everyone knows the trial’s next week.”

  
“I still say that’s some fucked up bullshit,” Holder spat out.

  
Linden shook her head and heaved a sigh, “It is what it is.” She looked at each of them in turn, “Thanks again. I’d invite you in but I know you probably have to get back to work.”

  
“I do,” said Reddick with a single nod. “I’ll probably see you soon though.” He opened the door to his car and climbed in driving off.  
Linden turned to Holder, “You gonna stick around?”

  
“Couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. Especially since, you’d be stranded if I left. You don’t got a car,” she looked down and nodded. “Also, I got ya house keys.” He held them in between his fingers.

  
Sarah’s head shot up, “How?”

  
He shrugged nonchalantly, “Picked ‘em up before your things went into evidence. How else you think I brought your clothes to the jail?”

  
Linden gaped for a moment then she shook her head and held out her hand. Holder placed her keys into her palm, their skin briefly making contact before she drew her hand away quickly. The two of them looked at each other for a moment, then Sarah turned on her heel and went towards her front door.

  
“You’re welcome!” Holder called after her.

  
“You coming or what?” She called back.  
He grinned again and followed her. Linden paused briefly at the bottom of the stairs that led to the door. The last time she had been standing there, she had been with Jimmy. He’d told her his marriage was done and the hope that had filled her was sickening to think about now. They had kissed, gone inside and...

  
Sarah shook her head. She was getting sick and tired of the meltdowns, of the emotions... of the memories. Especially when there were other people to bare witness, that just wasn’t who she was. She walked up the stairs to glass storm door and opened it to put the key in the front door.

  
Once inside, Linden placed her keys on the hallway table and stood in the hallway. Holder closed the front door behind him and she turned to face him, “I’m going to take a shower. Feel free to do...” she shrugged and did a hand flop. “Whatever, make yourself at home I guess.” Then without saying another word she went upstairs.

  
“Alright I’ll do that, Holder called after her then looked around for a moment before he decided to head into the kitchen.

  
——

  
Sarah turned the shower knobs cause the water to stream down from the faucet head above. As the room began to fill with steam, she began to undress and took down her hair from the ponytail, once completely naked she stepped under the water. The water hit her skin, it was fairly warmed up but she yearned for it to be hotter, foolishly thinking she could burn everything away. She turned up the temperature but it still wasn’t enough.  
James had been nothing but kind to her, she had been new to Homicide, and when they’d been partnered up he’d treated her as an equal, even though he had much more experience on the force. The two of them worked extremely well together. He had always been willing to listen, hearing her theories, never shutting down her ideas—because that’s what good partners do. It wasn’t long before Sarah found herself starting to fall for him. Looking back, she thought maybe she had fell for him the first day they met. It wasn’t until a while later that she found out Jimmy felt the same way about her, even though he was married. Next thing she knew they were in bed together, again and again. And it wasn’t just sex, it was love and both of them knew it. And Sarah had been content.

  
Then Trisha Seward. Adrian. Ray. He had shut her down when she tried to explain that she thought they had the wrong guy. Jimmy had never done that before, merely thrown away her thesis, not even consider it. But Linden knew something was off, and she lost her mind trying to prove she was right. By the time she got out of the hospital... he had moved on. Well, so could she. Sarah had to let go of the man she had loved...and she did. Besides, she had Rick—until she didn’t. She might never have seen Skinner again, and she would have been okay with that.

  
Then Holder came to her with his case, his little push that it could be the same killer and her doubt started to seep back in. Had they truly caught the right guy? Sarah talked to Skinner, but he stood by what they did in the original investigation. And dammit if she didn’t love seeing that man again. She found the bodies, joined the task force. Was shut down again and again by Skinner. Until finally, finally... he said he believed her. But Seward still hung, she hadn’t been able to save him. A man she had helped condemn to death.

  
Then Jimmy came to see her... said his marriage was over and a flicker of hope started to burn in her chest. It went from a flicker to a raging fire and they were together again just like they had been before. Except that they could be more now.

  
But then the ring on Bethany’s finger... the realization and abysmal horror. 21 girls. Children. Fucking children. Monster was too kind of a word to describe what Skinner was. And she had taken away his life, a human being... gone because of her.  
But still, she loved him.

  
——

  
Holder had been hoping to piece some food together for the both of them, but the contents of Linden’s refrigerator and cupboards were less then subpar. So he sat in the kitchen, trying to decide if he should ask he what she wanted. Or maybe he should just order pizza. Would she want to go out for a bite?

  
Soon he realized thirty minutes had gone by and he hadn’t heard from her since she had went into the bathroom. Holder headed into the hallway to see if he could hear anything from upstairs, but there was nothing.

  
“Linden?” Holder called as slowly made his way up the stairs. “Linden?” He could hear the water running in the bathroom. He went up to the door and knocked, “Yo, Linden? You alright?” There was no answer.

  
“Ah shit...” Holder rubbed the back of his head and put his hands on his hips thinking, before he made a decision. “Alright, Linden. I’m coming in,” he went to open the door only to find that it was locked, he patted himself he didn’t have anything to pick the lock.  
Holder stepped back and kicked in the door.

There was a tub was straight ahead, Linden was sitting inside with her head hidden between her knees tucked to her chest, and the water from the shower head was hitting the back of her head. Tentatively Holder took a step towards her, “Linden?” Sarah didn’t respond, she didn’t even react. Starting to panic, he rushed forward and put a hand on her shoulder, “Linden... Sarah?!”

  
The water was ice cold, it beat down on his neck and back, Holder reached up and turned off the knobs already soaked. He bent down and put his hands on each side of Sarah’s jaw and gently lifted her head up so that he could see her face. Her eyes were red and vacant and her face was covered in tears.

  
“Hey,” he said gently using his thumb to tap her on the cheek. “Sarah please. Sarah?!”

  
Finally, she seemed to see him. Her eyes focused on his face and she spoke quietly, “Holder?”

  
Holder let out a huff of relief that sounded almost like a laugh. He took a brief moment to close his eyes and press his forehead against hers before straightening up again, “Alright, c’mon.” Holder looked around and pulled a towel off of the towel rack off of the wall, he wrapped it around Sarah as best as he could, she still wasn’t moving. A bathrobe hung on the back of the door and Holder went and grabbed it before lifting her out of the tub.

  
That made her react, she was completely taken aback, “Wha—what?”

  
“Ya gonna catch your death like this.”

  
“Holder... I’m naked.”

  
“Yeah no shit,” he said as pulled the bathrobe onto her, she wasn’t stopping or helping him in the matter being in some state of shock. Holder pulled the tie around the robe tightening it around her, then he stood up and took a step back with an incredulous look on his face. “What the fuck Linden.”

  
Sarah’s eyes moved over his body, “You’re wet.”

  
He fought the urge to shake her, “Captain Obvious strikes again. What. The. Fuck?!”

  
She looked away and hugged her arms around herself, “I’m fine.”

  
Holder couldn’t help himself, he put his hands on her shoulders and shook her not hard, but not gently either, “Are you fucking kiddin’ me? I just found you fucking catatonic in the goddamn shower! Your gonna have to do better than that.”

  
Sarah’s face hardened and she narrowed her eyes pulling herself out of his grasp, “I don’t have to tell you a damn thing.”

  
He stepped back from her, “Don’t do this Linden. Don’t shut me out. I’m here for you, but you gotta let me know what’s going on.”  
She shook her head, “Holder—”

  
“Why can’t you see that I ain’t going nowhere?” Holder spoke in a voice that bordered on yelling, “No matter what, I’m gonna be there for. I will always be there for you.”

  
Sarah looked up into his eyes and spoke quietly, “I’ll burn you.”

  
“Well thank god I wore my fireproof boxers, I‘m immune.”

  
She smiled tearily before she looking away. After a moment she said in quiet voice, “I loved him.”

  
Holder’s heart broke for her. He reached forward and pulled Sarah into his chest, his arms wrapped around her back in a gentle but strong embrace. Her ear rested on his chest, near to where his heart was and she could hear it beating. Somehow, the sound grounded her.

  
“It’s gonna be alright,” he said gently. “I know it don’t seem that way right now, I know that. And I know sayin’ it don’t make it so. But I swear, we are going to get through this.”

  
Linden leaned into his embrace, and his chin rested on the top of her head. They stayed like that for a while, neither of them knowing how much time passed.

  
“C’mon Linden get changed, your freezin’. I know that because I’m freezin’. Plus, you need to eat.”

  
“I’m not—”

  
“Don’t even get started with me you’re eating,” he cut her off. “What you want? Eat in, or go out?”

  
“I want to stay home,” she said quietly.  
Holder nodded, “Pizza good then?”

  
Sarah shrugged, “Sure.”

  
“Alright I’ll call it in. Go get dressed. If you’re not downstairs in fifteen minutes I’m comin’ in your bedroom and dragging you down myself.”  
Sarah arched an eyebrow, “What if I’m not dressed?”

  
He blew his lips, “I don’t know how to tell you this Linden but I already seen ya naked today so...”

  
She rolled her eyes and shook her head, “Shut up Holder.”

  
“Aw yeah, there’s that Linden charm.”


	8. Chapter 8

Holder had put his shirt and pants in the dryer while Linden had changed upstairs, he pulled them back out when she joined him on the first floor. His pants and shirt were still slightly damp, but his blazer and tie were drenched so Sarah gave him a hanger and told him to hang it in the closet to dry. 

Later that night Linden and Holder were sitting side by side on the couch in the living room with a half empty pizza box in front of them along with two empty beer bottles

“I’m stuffed,” said Sarah, leaning back with a hand on her stomach.

“I think that’s the most I’ve seen you eat like, ever,” Holder chortled. “Didn’t know you had it in you Linden.”

She turned to look at him, “Honestly neither did I, don’t know what came over me.” Her lip quirked up in a small smile, then it dropped. 

Sarah shook herself and stood up grabbing the box, “Thanks for the pizza Holder, that was really nice of you to do that. You should probably go though, I think I’m gonna go to bed.”

She turned to look at him with a curious expression on her face, “You’re kiddin’ me right?” 

“I’m stayin’ Linden.”

“What?”

Holder bobbed his head with a small grin, “I’m stayin’ here,” 

Sarah smirked with her brow furrowed, “Are you inviting yourself to stay over?”

He clapped his hands together, “Hell yeah! We gonna have a sleepover. We can even make a campfire if you want. Ev’ryone loves s’mores, don’t you?”

She looked quizzical and ignored his nonsensical question, “What about Caroline?”

Holder looked away from her shrugging, “What about her? She’s a big girl, can take care of herself.”

Sarah blinked and looked away, she didn’t want to get into it with him, “I mean... alright. I guess you can stay in one of the spare rooms,” she gestured to his clothes. “But you don’t even have anything to change into though.”

“I’ll figure it out no worries. Let’s clean up your living space.”

She didn’t say anything more on the matter. Holder helped her clear the plates as she stored the rest of the left over pizza away. Everything was put away in under five minutes, dishes in the dishwasher and garbage thrown out. They walked out of the kitchen to the hallway at the bottom of the stairs.

“You just, tell me where to go,” said Holder making a broad gesture with his arms.

“Yeah okay,” Sarah gestured for him to walk up the stairs with her.

Holder hadn’t really noticed much on his previous trip up as he had been too focused on Linden at that point, but now he saw that at the top of the stairs there was a wraparound hallway, with 5 doors lining the walls. The door directly in front of them belonged to a guest bedroom, the bathroom was the door to the right on the right wall, next to the bathroom was a linen closet then another bedroom door, and finally on the left wall was the door to Linden’s bedroom. 

Sarah opened the door straight in front of them, “You can stay in here, there are some towels in the linen closet if you want to shower and there are blankets in there too. If you need anything just...”

“I’ll let ya know,” Holder said nodding. “Thanks Linden.”

She turned to go into her bedroom then stopped to look back at him, “I might have... hang on.” Sarah disappeared into her bedroom for a few moments and came back with a University of Washington t-shirt that was several sizes too big to fit her normally, “You can probably wear this, it’ll be better then the monkey suit.” She gestured to the outfit he had worn in court that morning.

“What?” Holder pretended to look affronted, “You don’t think I look fine in this?” 

She titled her head and smirked, “I don’t think you wanna wrinkle that any more then you already have.”

Holder chuckled and tilted his head in a sort of nod, “Fair point,” he took the shirt. “Thanks.”

They stood there awkwardly for a beat before she said, “Goodnight.” He waited until she went to her room and the door was closed before he turned and went into the guest room.

——

Holder woke up with a start. The alarm clock on the bedside table told him he’d been asleep for about four hours. So he why was he awake, and what had brought him out of his slumber. That’s when Holder heard a yelp or a whimper, he was exhausted and couldn’t remember the difference. The bottom line was a human being was making a distressing noise and it wasn’t him so that left only one other person: Linden.

Without thinking about his state of dress he bounded out of the bedroom in the UW t-shirt which reached down mid-thigh for him so that his red plaid boxers were still visible. He ran straight to her bedroom and opened the door, “Linden?” 

Sarah was whimpering in her sleep, occasionally twitching and tossing in the bed. Nightmare. 

“Linden...” Holder hated the idea of waking her, scaring her even further. But he couldn’t just ignore the fact that she was clearly in distress. He almost felt the need to check to make sure that she didn’t have a gun under her pillow because honestly knowing Linden, she might just shoot him for being in her bedroom, let alone scaring her out of a nightmare.

Hell, he was a dead man either way and couldn’t let her suffer.

Holder crept forward quietly, softly calling her name as he did so hoping maybe she would snap out of it. Once he was beside her, he slowly extended an arm and shook her shoulder. Sarah shot up swinging, her eyes wide with fear. He stepped back to avoid being hit then came right back in and grabbed her arms as gently as he could.

“Hey, hey!” Holder didn’t yell, but he didn’t whisper either. He took her hands and placed them on his own chest, right over his heart. “Linden...” her eyes found his. He could see a layer of sweat beading on her forehead, and she was breathing as though she had just run a marathon, “You’re okay, you’re alright.”

For a moment he thought she might cry, but she didn’t. Instead Sarah just collapsed looking defeated. He could see the nightmare leaving her eyes as she re-centered herself. 

Holder thought about asking her about the nightmare, having her talk about it—but then he thought better of it. Linden had opened her heart and soul enough for today, for someone like her, possibly for a lifetime. So instead, without letting go of her hands Holder stepped closer to the bed and sat on the edge, “Scooch.” 

Sarah gave him a look that promised an argument was about to come, but after a moment she moved over so he moved fully onto the bed and they sat next to one another. Slowly, Holder let go of her hands, and they fell limply in between the two of them. Sarah looked ahead at the wall seeing nothing, whereas Holder had eyes for nothing but her.

They sat like that for a while, side by side in silence. Eventually Holder looked ahead at the wall as well, and after some more time he said, “Pretty interesting wall ya got there,” Linden huffed, it might have been a laugh. He grinned, “Nah I’m serious, you got that nice window there, bam center of the wall. If it wasn’t center that would suck, and honestly I’d need to find whoever built this place and have some words with ‘em. And the paint I mean—it’s great you know? Or, I’m sure it is... I can’t really tell ‘cause it’s dark and all. But like I said, it’s a great wall.” Holder looked back at Linden and was pleased to see she had a small smile on her face when she turned and looked at him.

“Thanks Holder.”

He shrugged, “Ain’t no thing.”

She blinked slowly and looked away, “I’m so tired.”

“Go to sleep girl, I won’t go nowhere,” he paused “I mean unless you want me to.”

Sarah seemed to think about it for a minute then shook her head, “Stay,” she said quietly. “Please.”

“I got you Linden.”

——

The next morning Sarah had woken up fairly early, feeling somewhat rested. It was true that after Holder had joined her she had slept better, but she was also highly embarrassed. When she woke up the next morning and saw him next to her in a deep sleep, Sarah carefully got out of the bed and pulled on her bathrobe before heading out of the room. Half an hour later she was in the kitchen making a pot of coffee when she heard Holder coming down the stairs, she turned to face him and leaned against the counter. He was back in his suit, the blazer looked like it could use a pressing machine, and his hair was slightly ruffled, “Hey.”

“Hey,” she greeted.

“Mornin’,” Holder bobbed his head. “So listen... I got a call and have to head in to work.”

“Alright sure,” Sarah pushed off of the counter and crossed her arms. “Thanks for everything Holder.”

He shook his head, “Nah see I’m comin’ back.”

She narrowed her eyes, “You don’t need to do that.”

“I know I don’t need to, but I want to. I’m ya friend Linden, and this... this is some rough shit that you’re goin’ though. You shouldn’t be alone, hell I wouldn’t want to be alone.”

Sarah didn’t want to argue with him, and a small part of her didn’t want to be alone either. She shrugged going for exasperation, “Alright.”

He nodded, “I’ll call you when I’m on my way back. This time imma come with an overnight bag too, that way you can get your shirt back.”

Amused, she chortled and looked down to hide the smile on her face, “That’s fine, you can keep it.”

Holder bobbed his head again, “See ya soon.” 

——

Sarah spent her morning trying to distract herself. After she had gotten dressed, she cleaned every surface she could reach. She vacuumed, mopped, and dusted every corner of the house as well. Astonishingly, she had cleaned the whole house before it was even noon.  
Brainstorming briefly about what else she could do to pass the time, Linden called a taxi and went into town to buy some cigarettes. After she had he smokes, Sarah went on a small walk around the island, bundled up in her coat and sweater. She went near the water to take a look as the waves lapped against the docks. The seagulls cried overhead as they flew towards the mainland. A small part of her envied them and their ability to fly away wishing that she could do the same. But that was a ridiculous thought, she would reap what she sowed. Besides, the birds would be back, she thought. They always came back, and she would get to hear their cries again. Because they cried too.

Sarah headed back home around dusk and still hadn’t heard anything from Holder. Not that she was waiting on him, it was just that if he was indeed spending the night again, she’d rather know sooner rather than later. She knew how a shift on homicide could turn out: you plan for one thing and the next thing you know you’re working a 36 hour day.

She got back home by the time it was getting darker and decided to try and do some laundry. She was in the middle of putting the detergent into the washing machine when she heard an incessant banging. It took her a moment to realize it was someone knocking at her front door.

“Just a second!” The knocking continued. “Hang on Holder!” It has to be Holder there was no one else who would come see her. Why he was still knocking so heavily and insistent was beyond her knowledge. Sarah put the detergent down and went to the door undoing the lock and swinging it open. She could have sworn the floor had been pulled out from underneath her feet.

It was Bethany Skinner.

The young girl stood against the open glass storm door, inches away from Sarah. She had been crying, her face was streaked with tears, but it was also twisted with rage. 

“You...” Bethany gasped sobbing, “you killed him. You killed my dad!”

Linden could feel her legs begin to shake, “I...” What the fuck could she say? “I’m sorry, you need to go.” She started to close the door.

Bethany’s hand shot out and to stop her and hold it, “My dad... was a good man. A good man! You made up those lies about him, I know that you did! You were just jealous, because he had a family and you don’t!”

Sarah could feel the air leaving her lungs, something was squeezing the life out of her. This kid, this poor kid: she was hurt, angry, grieving and needed someone to blame. Of course it would be Sarah, was the one who had taken away her father. Never to be heard from or seen again. Unless there was an open casket.

Linden tried to put more force behind the door so that it would close, “Please... please go.”

The kid was strong and pushed back, “You’re nothing but a murderer,” Bethany hissed. “A heartless murderer, and you’re going to rot in hell you bitch.”

SLAM! Sarah had gotten the door shut and as soon as she had she locked the deadbolt. Bethany wasn’t done though, and she screamed from beyond the door, “Do you hear me?! Murderer! You’re a murderer!!!”

Sarah stepped back with her eyes still on the door, she sunk down to the bottom of the stairs and clasped her head, as her entire body shook. She pressed her hands over her ears like a child thinking it would make it all go away. But there was nothing that could make this go away. And Bethany pounding on the door and screaming outside was proof of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...what’s wrong with me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is much shorter, but that’s because the next one is INCREDIBLY long (for my standards that is.)

It wasn’t as though working with S.P.D. had been a picnic before everything went down with Skinner and the Pied Piper , but as Holder drove away from the Vashon Island terminal to Linden’s house, he realized what a shitstorm the day had truly been. 

Internal Affairs was all over the precinct, pulling in cops and detectives off their cases from left and right. People were gathering in corners, whispering, and glancing at each other like anyone of them could be a serial killer. Holder shook his head as he thought back to it. They’d sort it out, he knew that they would. But man they needed to get their shit together.

Eventually he pulled up to the road Linden’s house was on and he drove all the way to the end. The house was pitch black, none of the lights were on inside or out. Holder glanced at the dashboard and saw that the time was 8:57pm. She couldn’t have gone to bed yet, right? He turned off the engine and grabbed his overnight bag from the passenger seat and headed towards the house.

Once he walked up the stairs to the small porch and the front door he knocked but there was no answer. “Linden?” He called, and knocked again but still nothing. With a sigh of frustration, at who or what he didn’t know, Holder tried to think about what he could do.

He walked around to the back of the house and tried the back door, but that was locked too. So without any other options, Holder went to the window on the side of her house and popped the screen off of it placing it gently down on the ground. Then he jiggled with the window—which was also locked—but didn’t stop the effort and finally, thank god for old architecture, popped the thing open.

Holder lifted himself into Sarah’s kitchen and dining area, then he found the light switch and flipped it on. His heart sank when he saw dark spots on the floor that he realized were droplets of blood. 

“Linden?!” He bolted up the stairs and into her bedroom, and found a bloodied rag on the floor lay just inside but she wasn’t there. “Linden?!” Holder ran to the bathroom and—

With a sigh of relief he saw her sitting in the tub, it was dark and he couldn’t see her face, but he could see the outline of her figure. 

“Jesus woman,” Holder started to say and flipped on the light switch on the wall. He froze at what he saw: Linden sat facing the door, her knees bent up to her chest to fit the tub sideways. Her arm was sliced and bleeding, pretty badly by the looks of it which explained the bloody rags. In the tub beside her were three bottles of alcohol, a completely empty bottle of champagne, a bottle of whiskey, and a half finished bottle of red wine. 

It took her eyes a second to see him, “Oh hey Holder.” Sarah took the sherry, uncapped it and had a giant swig. Holder’s brain seemed to be taking a temporary sabbatical, he had no clue how to react. Linden winced as she put the bottle down and looked at her arm, “Damn thing... couldn’t make it stop bleeding. I was staining things... so I came in here. Can just wash the blood away.” She looked up at him, looking somewhat pleased with herself, “Good thinking right?”

“Linden...” Holder stepped into the bathroom further. He looked into the tub and saw that it was filled with a few more bloodied rags. She must have given up at some point though, because there quite a bit of blood on the bottom of the tub as well.

She chortled and smirked, “Yep,” she said. “I broke a wine glass, and I cleaned it up but realized the blood. So I just said, screw it! I’ll drink outta the bottle.” Her words were slurring, she went for the wine and chugged for a good while before she put it down at stared at the bottle looking like she was thinking really hard, “I think... it might be helping.”

Holy shit was she drunk. Holder blew out a breath, and put down the lid on her toilet taking a seat on it. He needed to get her away from the alcohol, or rather get the alcohol away from her but he needed to be careful so she wouldn’t lash out and herself any further. Holder slowly reached over for the empty bottle of champagne.

“What’re you doing?” Sarah slurred, looking genuinely confused.

“Can I take this?” He asked gesturing to the champagne.

Linden squinted at him, “It’s empty, if you want a drink you should take the others.”

He raised his eyebrows innocently, “...can I take the others?”

She seemed to think about it for a second. Then she opened the whisky and took three huge gulps, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and gave the bottle to Holder, “Here.” She picked up the wine bottle and held it to her chest protectively.

Holder took the whiskey bottle and the empty champagne bottle too. He put them down at his feet and sat there with her for a few moments. Then he turned back to her and said, “Want me to help you with that?”

“With what?” He gestured to her arm and she looked down, “Pfft, no. It’ll stop... probably.”

He didn’t press on it anymore for the moment and clapped his hands together, “So what happened?”

Sarah scoffed, “Skinner.”

Holder sat back, “Oh yeah? Him again?”

She shook her head. “Her.”

“What?”

“Her, Skinner. Her Skinner. Be—Bethany.” Sarah was avoiding his gaze, tracing little circles with her finger on the bottle of wine.

“What about her?”

Linden pointed to the tub and her finger tapped the surface, “She came here. Few hours ago I think? Knocked on the door. Actually she banged, a lot. I thought it was you,” she turned to him. “So I answered, that was a mistake,” Sarah laughed coldly. “She told me that I was a murderer and I’d pay for what I done. Also didn’t use some very nice language—she actually sounded a bit like me when I was her age. I mean I really don’t judge her. I did take away her father after all.” Her voice had sounded ready by the end of her sentence and Sarah picked up the wine as soon as she had finished and she drank some more, and more... until Holder realized she wasn’t putting it down. He reached over and gently pulled the bottle away from her, with her mouth full she looked indignant and swallowed before she cried affronted, “Hey, I was drinking that.”

Holder shook his head, “Not anymore ya not.” He dumped the rest down the sink.

Sarah scowled at him, “Fine, I’ll go get some more.” She made to stand up and nearly lost her balance.

He grabbed her underneath her arms, “Easy girl.” His suit was getting blood on it, he helped her step out of the tub and sat her down on the toilet.

“No, I need to get some more,” she said in a voice that bordered on whining. “It’s helping.”

“No you don’t,” Holder said, taking a closer look at the cut on her arm. It was actually pretty deep and he winced, “You might need stitches though.” 

“No.”

“Let me try to clean it up. You got a first aid kit?”

Sarah looked looked around aimlessly, “Yeah... somewhere, in here I think?”

Holder went under the sink and found the kit. He wiped away the blood as best as he could, but by the time he had the blood was still heavily flowing back out. He used an alcoholic wipe and pressed some gauze to the wound, holding his hand against it as he looked at her, “You’re not a murderer Sarah.”

She arched an eyebrow, “Pretty sure I am.”

“Nah, I’ve met murderers. You ain’t ‘em,” he said shaking his head.

“I took away her father,” she pursed her lips and spoke softly. “She said, Bethany said I lied about him being the killer because I was jealous.”

Holder’s eyes narrowed, “That’s bull too and you know it.”

Sarah looked away from him, “I wanted him to be with me... I saw him with his wife, with his... with his daughter. And I wished he was with me, she didn’t get it all wrong,” she scoffed and shook her head. “I need a drink,” Quicker then he would have thought possible in her drunken state, Sarah retrieved the whiskey bottle and went to drink it.

“Woah no,” Holder grabbed the bottle and poured it down the sink.

“Holder!” 

“I’m cutting you off Linden.”

“It’s my house.”

“I don’t care. I can’t let you drink yourself into oblivion. I like you too much,” she scowled at him, but he just smiled. “How long you been drinking?”

Sarah shrugged, “Since I was like, 17...”

Holder rolled his eyes, “No Linden, today. How long you been drink in’ today?”

She thought hard for a moment, “What time is it?”

“Past nine.”

“...I don’t know.”

Bewildered, he shook his head, “Okay you really need to stop.” Holder stood up and pulled Linden up gently with him, “C’mon.”

“Where are we going?”

“Urgent Care, you’re bleeding through the gauze.”

Sarah looked down and saw that sure enough she was. Exasperated she sighed, “I hate doctors.”

“It’ll be quick, I promise.”

They walked down the stairs, his hands didn’t leave her he kept one on her shoulder and a second grip on her hip because she was stumbling. When they made it downstairs he opened the front door and almost tripped over his overnight bag.

Sarah spun to look at him, “Why’s your stuff out here?”

He grinned, “‘Cause you didn’t answer, and I had to get in your house by climbing through your window.”

They walked down to his car, “You... climbed through a window?” She asked not comprehending.

“Sure did,” he opened the door for her. “Get in, keep holding that, keep the pressure on.”

Holder closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side. He took off his suit jacket and threw it in the back, than climbed in the car.

“I’m hungry,” she declared.

“We can get some food on the way back, you’ll probs need to rehydrate and refuel. You lost lotta blood there Linden.”

She didn’t respond and just looked out the window. He turned the car around and started heading down towards the main road. “I was drinking to forget,” she slurred quietly.

Holder glanced at her briefly before putting his eyes back on the road, “Yeah, I know,” he said gently. “But take it from an ex-tweaker, that shit don’t always work. And if it don’t work, the feelings get worse. It’s like going down some fucked up rabbit hole or somethin’.”

Sarah shook her head, “I’m not going to Wonderland, my rabbit hole would take me deeper into hell.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t go to either, maybe you stay right here.”

Slowly she moved her head to look over at him, “Rabbit holes take you places though.”

He couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his face, “Figure of speech yo.”

She looked back out the window, “Don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like you.”

Holder shook his head, “You didn’t have to do nothin’. You’re my friend, simple as that.”

They drove in silence for a few moments before she said quietly, “Thanks Holder.”


	10. Chapter 10

One Week Later

Holder had stayed with Linden the entire week. He went to work during the day, during which Linden would stay at home, sleep in, watch mindless tv—“Discovery Channel Linden! It’s good for ya brain!”—sometimes she’d go on walks into town, and she smoked. A lot. 

He had made her promise she wouldn’t drink anymore unless he was in the house with her. Which had led to a rather loud argument in which Sarah had replied that she was an adult and could make her own choices. After she had shouted, Holder had then simply said rather calmly that he cared about what happened to her, and “Do you really want 20 more stitches?” At which point she shut up.

On the first day of the trial, Sarah had dressed in a knee length black skirt, white blouse, and a pair of shoes with a very small heel that she slipped on over a pair of black stockings. She brushed out her hair and left it down, already annoyed with it after five minutes because it kept getting in the way and when she took a look at her reflection in the mirror she deemed herself presentable. Sarah walked out to meet Holder by his car and saw that he was wearing his suit again. He didn’t say anything about her state of dress, and she appreciated it, she didn’t want to talk.

They drove to the courthouse in silence, and parked in lot about a block away. Together they got out of the car hugging their jackets around their bodies fighting against the cold wind that blew at them. Hunt was waiting for them at the bottom of the steps of the courthouse.

“Ready Ms. Linden?” Hunt asked and she nodded. “You’re their first witness so be prepared, tell them everything you told me. I’ll be there to help you, alright?”

Sarah turned to go up the stairs before Holder placed a hand on her shoulder and she turned to look at him. A small smile grew onto his face, “You got this.” 

——

The courtroom was opened by the bailiff and Sarah and Hunt headed to the front to take their seats at the defendants table. Holder sat right behind them, though he wasn’t sure if she knew. She was stiff as a board with tension, the chatter around her sounded like indescribable buzzing. Then it was time.

“All rise,” Sarah and Hunt stood up with everyone else in the courtroom. She gripped her hands together hard, willing them not to shake. “The court is now in session. The Honorable Judge Hanes presiding.”

Judge Hanes walked into the courtroom and took his seat at the judges bench, “Everyone but the jury may be seated.” Everyone sat including Sarah who thunked into her seat. Hanes turned to the bailiff, “Mr. Wells, please swear in the jury.”

The bailiff, Wells, went to the jury box on the right side of the courtroom, “Please raise your right hand.” The twelve jurors did so, some of them looked over at Linden as they did. The bailiff continued, “Do you solemnly swear or affirm that you will truly listen to this case and render a true verdict and a fair sentence as to this defendant?”

“I do,” the juror’s voices echoed almost as one.

“You may be seated.”

After the jurors retook their seats, the judge turned to them and the bailiff stepped aside. “Members of the jury,” Hanes began, “your duty today will be to determine whether the defendant is guilty or not guilty based only on facts and evidence provided in this case. The prosecution has the burden of proving the guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. 

“This burden remains on the prosecution throughout the trial. The prosecution must prove that a crime was committed and that the defendant is the person who committed the crime. However, if you were not satisfied of the defendants guilt to that extent, then reasonable doubt exists and the defendant must be found not guilty.”

The words washed over Sarah as as a wave in the ocean would. Reasonable doubt.

Hanes turned back to the bailiff, “Mr. Wells, What is today’s case?”

“Your Honor, today’s case is The State of Washington versus Sarah Linden,” the bailiff stated in a monotone voice.

The judge looked over to the prosecution table, “Is the prosecution ready?”

Caroline stood up and gave the judge a curt nod, “Yes your Honor.”

To the defendants table, “Is the defense ready?”

Hunt stood, “Yes your Honor.”

Hanes gave a curt nod, “Very well, you may make your opening statements.”

Sarah couldn’t bring herself to look at Caroline as the she stood up and made her way over to the jury, “Your Honor, members of the jury... My name is Caroline Swift and I represent the State of Washington. James Skinner was a decorated policeman, devoted father, and husband. He dedicated his life to serving the people and city of Seattle, truly he was a great man.” She paused, making eye contact with the jurors, “Then, on August 4th, 2014 his life was tragically cut short when Sarah Linden shot him twice in the chest and the stomach. 

“The defense is going to tell you that James Skinner was a murderer. However, that was never proven, nor can it be proved because he is no longer here with us.” Sarah couldn’t help herself, she whirled on Hunt who simply raised a hand indicating she shouldn’t speak and kept his eyes on Caroline as she continued, “And we are not here today, to discuss what James Skinner may or may not have been guilty of, this case is about his murder. Today I intend to prove that the defendant, Sarah Linden, did indeed commit the murder of James Skinner on August 4, 2014. That night, in a haze of hate and jealously, Sarah Linden took his life. I will provide evidence of said jealously, her mental instability, as well as physical evidence that she did indeed commit this crime. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it is your job to find Sarah Linden guilty.” Caroline took her seat again. 

Sarah wasn’t sure if she was breathing, Caroline’s words were echoing in her head, weighing her down. There was a sudden stillness in the courtroom, and Sarah had the urge to run away. Just run and not look back.

“The defense?” Hanes called snapping her out of her thoughts.

Hunt squeezed Sarah’s wrist and stood up, going over to the jury, “Your Honor, members of the jury. My name is Marcus Hunt, and I represent Sarah Linden. Sarah Linden has been a decorated homicide detective for six years, solving some of the highest profile cases this city has ever seen. She has dedicated her life to the people of this of this city and to justice. Even when the odds were against her, even when people tried to stop her from doing her job she persevered, and she did it because she’s damn good at it. You know what’s she’s not?” Hunt paused putting his hands in his pockets and looking at the jury, “A murderer. No, Sarah Linden is not murderer. I intend to prove that on August 4th, 2014, Sarah Linden was manipulated and tricked by James Skinner—and it wouldn’t have been the first time he had done so. I will be providing physical evidence, records, and more to help prove this. Please, find Sarah Linden not guilty,” Hunt walked back over and sat down.

Hanes cleared his throat, “Prosecution, you may call your first witness.”

Caroline stood up again, “Thank-you your honor. The people call Sarah Linden to the stand.”

Hunt turned to look at her, and nodded. Linden stood shakily and headed up to the area by the judge, the bailiff met her below the witness stand next to the judges bench. 

Wells held out a bible, “Place your left hand on the Bible.” Sarah looked at the book she had no faith in, and felt more alone than ever before she put her left hand onto it. “Raise your right hand,” she was fighting hard to make sure her hand wouldn’t shake, her eyes were glued to her fingers as they pressed onto the Bible. “Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”

Sarah nodded, “I do.”

“Please take your seat.”

She went up to the left of the judge and sat in the creaky wooden chair in the witness stand. It was the first time she got a look of the whole courtroom. There were some press people near the back of the gallery taking notes, she hadn’t even noticed them when she walked into the courtroom. Jennifer Skinner was there too Sarah realized, but Bethany wasn’t. Then there was Holder, looking jittery hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees. All of the jurors had their eyes on her.

Caroline walked over to the witness stand, “Ms. Linden, how long had you known the victim James Skinner?”

Sarah swallowed trying to lubricate her dry throat, “About six years.”

“And how did you two meet?”

“He was my first partner when I joined homicide.”

Caroline scrutinized with her eyes, “And how was the relationship?”

Linden clasped her hands tightly in her lap, “It was good. We worked well together.”

“What about outside of work?”

Wow, already? “Yes outside of work too.”

“How often did you see each other outside of work?”

“A... few days a week.”

“And what did you do during this time?” Caroline glanced over to the jury.

Sarah didn’t know what possessed her to do it, but she looked straight into Jennifer’s eyes as she said, “We were having an affair.”

“For how long?”

“Three years.”

“What happened after three years?”

Sarah took a deep breath, “I...” was indisposed? Went away? Fuck it, it would come out today at some point. “Went into to the hospital.”

“By the hospital you mean the psychiatric ward is that correct?”

“...yes.”

Caroline turned and walked over to her table, “Your honor I’d like to enter Exhibit A into evidence. A record from the hospital intake from 3 years ago, as well as a separate intake from last year.” She turned to Linden, “Because you went back into the hospital last year, didn’t you?”

“I was set up,” Sarah defended herself quietly.

“Come again?”

“I was set up,” she spoke more loudly and firmer. “I was working a case and—”

“That seems to be an excuse you use quite a bit,” Caroline said as her eyes narrowed. “Including the instance of your involvement I. the death of James Skinner. Didn’t he “set you up” too?”

Sarah shook her head and bit her lip, “He manipulated me into going with him that night.”

Caroline looked directly at the jury and spoke sardonically, “I’m sure he did, just like he manipulated you into the hospital right? Can’t it also be true that you manipulated him? Who’s to say you didn’t manipulate him into getting in the car with you that day?

“I know how it sounds,” Sarah was growing more agitated.

“It sounds like you can’t take responsibility for your own actions Ms. Linden,” snapped Caroline. She went back to the prosecution table, “And you’ve just proven that, to this jury. You went to his house, we have a statement from his wife saying so,” she grabbed another evidence bag. “Exhibit B. You drove him into the woods, begged for him to leave his family, to be with you—”

Shocked and indignant, Sarah’s face twisted with anger, “No!”

“And when he refused, you shot him. Isn’t that right?”

“Objection! Leading the witness,” said Hunt standing up. 

Linden hadn’t heard him though, “Absolutely not! He attacked me!” Her voice was growing louder.

Caroline pointed a finger at her, “Why should we believe the word of a washed up homicide detective who’s been to a mental institution not once, but twice in her career?”

“HE WAS A KILLER!”

Silence.

The DA’s eyebrows rose, “A killer, is that right?”

“He murdered 21 girls that we know of. Raped them and slashed them to pieces. He was a killer, a monster.”

“So you’ve done Seattle yet another public service by ridding us of him?” asked Caroline curiously.

“I didn’t...” Sarah’s voice cracked.

Hunt stood up again, “Objection!”

Caroline raised a hand, “Withdrawn your honor.”

“The jury will disregard that statement,” said Hanes eyeing the DA.

Caroline turned to the judge, “Nothing further.” Then she went back to her seat.

“The defense may cross examine.” Hanes said.

Hunt button his suit jacket and went up to Linden. He took one look at her then turned to Hanes, “Your Honor, we request a small recess at this time.”

Hanes nodded, “Court will reconvene in 20 minutes, you may step down Ms. Linden.”

Sarah fought the urge not to bolt from the stand, and settled for a brisk walk right out of the courtroom and to the ladies room.

She went to the sink, turned on the cold water and splashed some onto her face. She couldn’t believe how much she was shaking. Skinner, it was all Skinner. His eyes were burned into hers, she would carry him with her everywhere. She wanted to scream, to lash out, but knew that she couldn’t.

“Fuck!” She leaned against the bathroom wall fighting back the crippling nausea that threatened to bring her down to her knees. Hiding her hands behind her face she tried to take some deep breaths. That’s when she heard the bathroom door open but didn’t look up.

“Hey yo, Linden,” Sarah put her hands down and saw Holder was leaning on the wall right next to her.

“This is the women’s room Holder,” she mumbled weakly.

He looked around, “Who gonna kick me out? You? Pfft.” 

She shook her head. They stayed like that for a few moments, just standing in silence side by side.

“I can’t do this,” she said quietly.

“Sure ya can,” Holder looked down at her. “I know you can Linden. ‘Sides, all y’a got left to do is answer Hunt’s questions. You don’t gotta face Caroline no more.

“Unless she cross-examines.”

He tilted his head and nodded, “Let’s take it one step at a time, aight?”

Sarah nodded slowly, and pushed off of the wall to stand up straight and he followed her as they walked back into the courtroom.

——

Sarah was back on the witness stand when the bailiff spoke, Wells cleared his throat, “Court is back in session.”

Hanes turned to Hunt, “The defense may cross examine.”

Hunt stood up and walked towards Sarah, “Ms. Linden, what case were you working on right before your affair with James Skinner ended?”

“The murder of Trisha Seward.”

“And what happened during the investigation?”

She fidgeted in her seat before becoming still again, “A boy was found with his mother’s slashed decomposing body. Skinner was convinced the dad, Ray Seward, was the culprit. I wasn’t so sure.”

“What happened when you told him this?”

“Objection!” Caroline stood up, “Relevance?”

“I’m getting there your Honor.” Hunt promised raising a hand.

“Be sure to move it along counselor.” Hanes said.

Hunt looked at Sarah expectantly and she cleared her throat, “He didn’t listen to me. He shut down my theory, again and again.”

“And?”

She swallowed, “I became obsessed with the case, with the fact that I believed we were condemning an innocent man. I didn’t take care of myself and I ended up in the hospital. When I got out Skinner had been promoted to lieutenant and Ray Seward had been sentenced to death.”

Hunt nodded, “Now, this Pied Piper case you’ve been working. It was similar to the Seward murder wasn’t it?”

“Objection speculation.” Caroline cried jumping to her feet.

“It’s not speculation if the witness herself has testified to the fact,” Hunt said not even glancing at Caroline. “I have the records to prove.”

“That won’t be necessary Mr. Hunt,” said Hanes. “Overruled. Move it along counselor.” 

Hunt turned back to Sarah and pressed, “Ms. Linden?” 

“Yes, I thought it may be the same killer.”

“And you brought this information to James Skinner?”

“I did, and he still didn’t believe me.”

“Then Ray Seward was hung, in fact he hung August 3rd, 2014.”

Linden looked down, the memory of Seward’s writhing form as he gasped for breath was burned into her brain, “Yes.”

“What happened after that?”

“I went home, and Skinner was waiting for me. He said he wanted to make sure I was okay,” her heart had begun to beat faster. “He said that his marriage was over and his wife had asked him to leave... and we slept together.”

“What about the next day?”

“My partner, Detective Holder, and I caught another case. We found out that the victim was Angie Gower, a young girl who had escaped after being attacked by the Pied Piper killer. Holder concluded that the killer had to have been a cop. We believed it may have been Detective Holder’s former partner Detective Reddick because Reddick had known one of the victims. Holder and I... we were discussing why, motives, and how when he brought up that it didn’t explain Trisha Seward. And that’s when I realized that the killer had never been after Trisha, he had been after Adrian. Because Adrian had seen the killer. 

“We went to Adrian’s house and he was missing. Skinner came, we told him our theory about how the killer was a cop and thought it might be Reddick. Skinner said he would track down Reddick, and told us to look for Adrian. We were told to keep it quiet, just between the three of us,” Linden inhaled deeply, it felt like she was swimming a long distance. But she knew she was almost done and that was what was driving her, “When we got back to the station, Holder was detained by Internal Affairs and I tried contacting Skinner but couldn’t reach him.” Linden looked at Jennifer again, “I went to his house and found him packing. He said that we didn’t have a case against Reddick, that I didn’t have anything on him. His wife and daughter came home and I saw that his daughter was wearing the ring of one of our victims. That’s when I realized Skinner was the killer.”

Hunt went over to the table and picked up a photograph out of his folder, “Is this that ring?”

It was the picture they had had in the bullpen, the close up of the silver ring with the bright blue stone. Sarah nodded, “Yes it is.”

Hunt put down the picture, “So what did you do next?”

“I waited until we were out of the house. I pulled my gun on him, and he said that if I wanted to see Adrian alive—I would go with him. I took his weapon, and tried to arrest him.”

“Tried?”

Sarah nodded and sniffed, “He said if I arrested him I would never see Adrian again.” 

“So you were manipulated?”

I should have seen. “Yes.” I should have known.

Hunt nodded, “What happened when you got to where James Skinner drove?”

“He told me that there were more bodies in the lake and that... his biggest regret, had been killing Adrian. And I...” She stopped, a tear fell down her freckled face, glinting in the light of the courtroom, “I shot him.”

“Once?”

“Yes.”

“Then what happened?”

“Skinner uh, he came at me and tried to take the gun. We fought and I managed to tackle him. He picked up a rock, and struck me in the head. Then Skinner went after the gun, I tried getting up as fast as I could and realized it was at my feet. He had kicked the gun over to me and said that I had a choice. He raised the rock again and ran at me so...” No. Don’t cry, don’t sob, just say it. Sarah let out a shaky breath, “I shot him again.”

“That was the fatal shot?” Linden nodded. Hunt looked at the jury, “So it was self defense.” He turned back at Linden “Then what happened?”

“Detective Holder arrived on scene and he arrested me.”

“Did you resist arrest?”

“No.”

Hunt nodded, “Nothing further.”

Hanes looked to Caroline, “Redirect?”

Caroline shook her head, “Not at this time your Honor.”

“Very well,” his head turned to the witness stand. “You may step down.”

Sarah stood up slowly and went back to her seat next to Hunt. She had done her part.

“Linden.” She looked up to see Holder tapping her on the shoulder, she must have spaced out. “They’re breaking for lunch, c’mon.”

Much to her despite, Hunt and Holder acted as bodyguards putting Linden in between the two of them as the left the courtroom with reporters trying to flag her down.

“I’ll give ‘em a story to report on.” Holder growled as they put some distance between them. He turned his attention to Linden, “What do you want to eat?”

Sarah shook her head, “I’m not hungry.”

“Ms. Linden, I must insist you eat.” said Hunt. “Keep up your energy. C’mon, we’ll go to London Plane, right around the corner.”

The restaurant was an 8 minute walk from the courthouse, they sat tucked away in a corner and out of sight. After ordering their food and sitting at their table, Hunt turned to Sarah and gave her a gentle smile, “You did really good this morning.”

She scoffed, “Not too sure about that.”

“I mean it. You spoke the facts, you did exactly what you needed to do, and I know it wasn’t easy.”

She shook her head and took a sip of water, “Jennifer was there. She heard everything... didn’t know she could hate me anymore then she already did.”

“Skinner’s wife.” Holder explained when Hunt looked confused.

“Your part is over for now,” Hunt said to her. “Just sit back and listen when we get back in there. If you hear something, and need to let me know something you maybe remember or think of—you write it down. Got it?” Sarah nodded and turned to Holder, “What about you? You ready big shot?”

Holder flapped out the lapels on his jacket, “I think I can manage.” He looked at Linden, “Caroline’s called me as a witness.” At the worried look on her face, he grinned, “Chill Linden, it’s all gon’ be good. Ooh, here comes the food.”

——

Sarah watched as Holder was sworn in and took the same seat she had vacated in the witness stand just an hour or so before. Caroline stood up and walked towards him.

“Mr. Holder, how long have you worked with the defendant?”

“Over all we’ve known each other for over a year.”

Caroline paced in front of the witness stand to the jury box, “The first case that you two worked together, that was the Rosie Larsen murder correct?”

“It was,” Holder nodded.

“What was your first impression of the defendant Ms. Linden?”

Holder huffed, “She seemed pretty uptight. Had somewhere to be and wanted.”

“And you met her son, Jack Linden, correct?”

Holder’s grin seemed strained, “Yes I did.”

“Jack spent quite some time at the station isn’t that right?”

Holder shifted in his seat and clasped his hands together, “He came around a few times, yeah.”

The DA’s lower lip stuck out in a pucker, her brow furrowed, “I just can’t imagine a police station being a good place for a child... did he seem happy?”

Hunt stood up, “Objection, relevance?”

Caroline turned to the judge, “This pertains to the actions and mental health of the defendant leading up to and at the time of the crime.”

“I’ll allow it,” Hanes said.

Holder shrugged, “I mean, he’s a kid ya know, they go through all sorts of moods.”

“Maybe his moods had to do with the fact that his mother was obsessive to a point that she focused more on her job than her own son.” Caroline said with a suggestive shrug. 

“There a question in there?” Holder asked a glare in his eyes.

Caroline switched tactics, “Is it true that while investigating the Larsen case, Ms. Linden began to believe that she was being targeted?”

“Yes, we both were.”

“And yet you continued to work the case.”

“We’re cops, we have a job to do.”

“Ms. Linden didn’t even have a home though, she was living on a boat, then in a motel room. Which, was broken into. And yet, she still didn’t do what was best for her son did she? She locked him in a hotel room, and left him alone so she could work the case.

“No wait—” Holder sat up straight.

“That kind of obsession, it’s not healthy is it? She fled from child services, sent her son away on a plane—”

“Objection!” Hunt yelled.

“Overruled.”

“Ended up back inside of a mental institution—”

“She was—” his head was shaking vigorously.

“And it happened again this year didn’t it? Trying to convince James Skinner HE was the one who made a mistake, and that they put the wrong killer away. Isn’t that right? Isn’t that right Detective Holder? Did she not become obsessed and hyper focused on that objective?”

Holder’s mouth opened slightly but nothing came out. He shifted in his seat again, “I...”

“Answer the question Detective.”

Holder sat there for a beat, his eyes went from Caroline to Linden, “No.”

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m not answering that,” he shook his head.

The DA turned to the judge, “Your Honor—”

“If you don’t answer you will be found in contempt of this court sir,” Hanes barked at Holder.

Holder shrugged, “Aight, I’m good with that.”

The courtroom started buzzing with noise, Hanes banged the gavel, “Order!”

Sarah turned to Hunt, “You can’t let him do this.”

“I’m sorry Sarah, I cant stop him.”

“Order!” Hanes turned to Holder, “I find you in contempt of this court. You will be taken into custody. Bailiff!” The bailiff came forward and pulled Holder down from the stand to handcuff his hands behind his back.

Linden made to stand up but Hunt grabbed her, “Stay down Sarah.” She could only watch as Holder was taken away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a lot of research (A LOT). I tried to be as accurate as possible. 
> 
> But there are some fictionalized elements.


	11. Chapter 11

Court was dismissed for the day and people had begun to file out of the room, but Sarah hadn’t moved. Hunt still sat next to her, his body turned in to fully face her, “It’s going to be alright.”

Sarah was at a loss, “I can’t believe he did that. He shouldn’t, I just...” 

“They’ll probably just hit him with a fine, but until he pays he’ll have to stay in custody.”

She looked up at him, “He can get out early if he testifies though, right?”

Her lawyer nodded hesitantly, “Well, yes. But it’s very rare that once you refuse to answer a question in court that you change your mind.”

She shook her head, “I need to speak with him.”

After a moment Hunt stood up, “I’ll see if they’ve transported him yet.”

——

After the bailiff had handcuffed him in the courtroom, Holder had been taken straight to the holding cell in the courthouse. The bailiff had told him that transport was running behind with some other subjects, so he didn’t know when Holder would be headed to jail. So he waited.

Holder heard a door open and shut followed by the sound of heels against the wooden floor becoming louder. Looking up he saw that Caroline stood outside of the cell, “Stephen...” 

“I told you that shit in confidence,” he spat out. “I can’t believe you used it against me.”

She shook her head, “I didn’t use it against you, I used it against her.”

Holder jumped to his feet, “That’s the same thing.”

They looked at each other through the bars of the cell, Caroline’s eyes looked somewhat disappointed, “I’m just doing my job.”

“You have a job to do? Fine, I get it. But you made a choice to betray my trust,” he glared at her but the hurt in his eyes was blinding. “Nothing you can say will let me forgive you for that. Believe me when I say this, you broke my heart today. You did that.”

Then he turned his back on her and soon after Holder heard her leave. He could feel the tears coming as a result of the hurt she had inflicted on him and paced around the cell, willing the feeling to go away. He didn’t even hear the door open again admitting more people. 

“Holder.”

He looked up and saw that Linden and Hunt had come to see him. “Hey,” he said in a croaky voice.

“You have five minutes,” said Hunt pointedly.

Sarah nodded to the lawyer than looked back to Holder, “Why did you do that?”

“I’m not going to be responsible for throwing you under the bus Linden,” he said simply. “No way, no how.”

“So what, you’ll just go to jail instead?” 

“If that’s the way it’s gotta be,” Holder said with a shrug, “You’re a great cop, and you’re a great moms. I know it, Jack knows it... they’re making you out to be irresponsible and ya not. I’m not testifying no more.”

She shook her head, “You never should have done that.”

“Yeah well, neither should she’ve.”

“Who? Caroline?”

Holder looked down and shifted his feet, “I told her some of that stuff during our first few months of dating. Linden and Holder stories ya know? And she used that against me, it’s unforgivable. She betrayed my trust,” he shook his head. “I can’t believe she did that, I can’t. She had a choice and she pulled that kind of shit? Why would you do that to someone you’re supposed to love?!” There were tears in his eyes and his breath had become shaky.

Sarah didn’t know how to respond to that, “I’m so sorry Holder.”

He sniffed, “It ain’t ya fault, and don’t go ‘round thinkin’ it is. For real Linden, yeah I did it for you but she never shoulda said that shit in the first place and I ain’t takin’ it back, ya hear?”

“We have to go,” said Hunt.

“Hey,” Holder went up to the bars. “Don’t stay by yourself, please? Go to Regi’s, or even Reddick’s.”

“Reddick?”

“He’ll understand Linden. But please, don't be alone tonight.” 

“Now Ms. Linden,” insisted Hunt.

“Bye Holder,” Sarah and Hunt walked out.

——

Sarah stayed with Regi that night, she had offered to go with Sarah to court the next day but Linden had insisted it wasn’t necessary, though she thanked her friend for the gesture.

She met Hunt outside of the courthouse, alone this time. When she had walked up to him, Marcus had given her a kind smile and said “We have a new witness to testify.”

“There wasn’t anyone else there.” said Sarah her brow furrowing.

“No but, she contacted me last night and said she wanted to testify, even gave us some physical evidence.”

“Who?”

Hunt smirked, “Jennifer Skinner.”

——

The session started for the morning and Hanes turned to Hunt, “Defense, you may call your first witness.”

Hunt stood up, “Thank-you your Honor. The defense calls Jennifer Skinner to the stand.”

Sarah watched as Jennifer was sworn in and took her seat, she didn’t look over in Sarah’s direction. Hunt stepped forward.

“Mrs. Skinner,” Hunt began. “Were you aware that your husband—James Skinner—has been sleeping with the defendant Sarah Linden three years ago?”

“Yes,” Jennifer nodded. “I was.”

“Were there other affairs?”

“Yes,” Sarah was going to be sick. “Well, I thought there were.”

“You’re not sure?”

Jennifer shook her hair back, “There were unexplained periods of absences. I assumed it was because he was sleeping around.”

“What did he say he was doing?”

She shrugged, “Working late hours mostly, sometimes running random errands.”

“What do you think he was doing then?”

“I...” she looked down and swallowed. “I think it was when he went out and killed those girls.”

The courtroom buzzed, Hanes banged his gavel, Sarah couldn’t breathe.

“Now, how can you be so sure?”

“I spoke with a Detective Reddick,” she said nodding to herself. “After the testimony yesterday I asked him about some specific dates that I could recall of James’ absence. They matched up with some of the murders.”

Hunt nodded, “Most notably the night of August 2nd, 2014 is that correct?”

“It is yes.”

Hunt turned to the jury while walking back to the table, “Let the record show that on the night of August 2nd, 2014 a young woman by the name of Rachel Olmstead, street name “Bullet”, was brutally murdered and her body was discovered the following day.” At the table he withdraw a crime scene photo showing Bullet’s mutilated and bloody corpse in the trunk of the Joe Mills’ taxi. He put the photo down and went back to Jennifer, “There were other dates that matched?”

“There were,” Jennifer bobbed her head. “A month before James died, he didn’t come home that night. The next day he gave our daughter a ring—he had missed her dance recital.”

Hunt was back at the table, he grabbed a plastic bag when Linden saw what was inside she felt her heart lurch. “Is this that ring?”

Kallie’s ring. Shiny silver, with a bright blue stone.

“Yes it is.”

“You turned this in yesterday didn’t you?”

“I did.”

“Why is that?”

Jennifer’s concealed anger bubbled to the surface, “I saw it in the court session yesterday, I saw it belonged to one of the victims. And I realized my husband had been a murderer.”

“You didn’t know though, did you?” asked Hunt sympathetically. 

“Not until yesterday.”

“So your husband, was manipulating you wasn’t he? He made you believe he wasn’t doing anything wrong?”

“Objection! Leading the witness. And this trial is not about James Skinner,” Caroline said standing up.

“I’ll withdraw the question, but will also point out that Ms. Swift spent most of her questioning yesterday discussing James Skinner so I am as well,” Hunt said.

“Watch your tone counselor,” Hanes pointedly said to him. “The jury will disregard the last question.”

“No further questions your Honor,” Hunt said sitting down next to Sarah.

Hanes looked to Caroline, “The prosecution may cross examine.”

Caroline stood up and went over to Jennifer, “Mrs. Skinner, was your husband a good father?”

“No.”

Dead silence. Linden hadn’t been expecting that answer. Clearly neither did Caroline.

“I beg your pardon?”

“No,” Jennifer repeated. “He was lousy, he was never there for Bethany. He didn’t know a thing about her personal life. He picked her up from dance and didn’t even know what kind of dance lesson it was—”

“Nothing fur—”. 

Caroline tried to cut her off, but Jennifer didn’t seem to care, “And he murdered a child! He cut her open and took her jewelry and gave it to our daughter! What kind of fucked up father does that?!”

“Nothing further your honor,” Caroline took her seat.

——

Court broke for lunch after Jennifer’s testimony so Sarah walked outside of the courtroom and leaned against the wall just outside. Jennifer Skinner walked out and she and Sarah’s gazes met. The two women stood there for a beat looking at one another, finally when Sarah opened her mouth to speak Jennifer turned her back on the detective and walked away.

Hunt came over to Linden, “We have one more witness. Then we’ll have closing arguments, and the jury will deliberate.”

Sarah slowly turned to Hunt she didn’t seem to have heard him, “Why did she help me?”

Hunt looked hesitant, “When she spoke to me, Jennifer said she wasn’t doing it for you. She was doing it for her daughter.” Sarah looked down and nodded, Hunt fixed her with an appraising look, “I know it doesn’t seem like it. But this is going well.”

Sarah huffed, “I’ve been pegged as an mentally insane adulterer. And those are things that I’m not even on trial for.”

He rested a hand on her shoulder, “We’re nearly there Ms. Linden. Hang tight.”

——

Carol Reddick sat at the witness stand, he looked over at Sarah and gave her a small nod.

Hunt approached the witness stand, “Detective Reddick, can you please describe the events as you experienced them on August 4th, 2014?”

“I was out with my wife and kid, we were bowling. The bomb squad came by and said they needed to inspect my car. I asked why, they said Detective Holder claimed to have planted a bomb there. They cleared my car and I went to the station to confront him, I told Internal Affairs he hadn’t done anything wrong and they released him. Afterwards Holder was desperate to get somewhere, I was pissed at him for the bomb scare but then he said Adrian Seward was missing and I needed to help look for him. Then he took off, saying he needed to get the person who set him up,” Reddick shifted in his seat. “A few hours later I found Adrian Seward.”

“Alive?”

Reddick nodded, “Alive and well. The kid had gone to his mother’s grave, I called Detective Holder and let him know.”

Hunt bobbed his head slowly, “Did Adrian tell you anything?”

“He said a man in a car had been following him earlier in the day. I asked who it was, and he said it was the man who killed his mom.”

“Did he tell you who it was?”

“He gave me a description.”

Hunt picked up a sheet of paper from the table, then walked to Reddick and handed the paper to him, “Is this that description?”

Reddick scanned the paper, “Sure is.”

The lawyer looked over to the jury, “Can you read that aloud for the jury to hear?”

“Tall white man with black hair by his ears and a bald head. In a suit.”

Hunt nodded and took the paper back, “Thank you Detective. Nothing further.” He retook his seat next to Linden.

“The prosecution may cross examine,” Hanes said.

Caroline went over to Reddick, “Detective Reddick, what was your initial impression of Sarah Linden?”

Reddick breathed out sharply, “Annoying mostly, a loose cannon, big off more than she could chew, didn’t think she had the experience to be a good murder cop.”

“Isn’t it true that she snapped at you, had some sort of outburst—and you told Detective Holder you thought she had gone “5150” on you?

He sighed, “Yes.”

“Can you explain to us what “5150” means?”

“It’s when an individual is involuntarily locked in a psychiatric facility for up to 72 hours for evaluation.”

Caroline nodded, “No further questions.”

“Would the defense like to redirect?” Hands asked Hunt.

“Not at this time your Honor.” Hunt responded.

“Very well,” Hunt looked out at the room and the jury. “Tomorrow court will reconvene for closing arguments and then the jury will receive their instruction and deliberation will begin. This court is adjourned.”

The echo of the gavel seemed to shake SarH to her very core. It was almost over. 

Hunt turned to her, “This is the last thing I want you to worry about, but Holder posted bail today.”

Sarah’s head turned sharply to him, “What?”

He nodded, “I had someone from my firm represent him. He’s waiting for you outside,” he shrugged. “I promised him I would tell you when we were done for today.”

“Thanks,” she took a look a him, a real look. “You’ve done a lot for me Mr. Hunt. I really am grateful.”

The lawyer shrugged, “It’s my job.”

“Still, you didn’t have to be so... humane, personable, or kind. I’ve known a lot of lawyers Marcus, none quite so much like you.”

He grinned, “Save that speech for when we win.”

Sarah shook her head, “I’d rather say it now.” She tried to give him a small smile, “You’ve gone above and beyond. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Sarah.”

——

A text from Holder told her he was parked around the corner. When she found him he was standing by his car with the driver’s door open smoking a cigarette.

Holder looked up as he saw her walking towards him, “You didn’t visit me! I can’t believe you didn’t come see me when I was in the slammer. Linden, that was the longest 24 hours of my life. I didn’t even have my smokes!”

She grinned, not able to help herself, “Next time, I promise.”

“Know what, let’s hope there’s not a next time. I almost got into a fistfight with someone who wanted my mashed potatoes,” she shook her head at his ridiculousness. His face sobered up, “How’d it go in there?”

Sarah shrugged, “The jury will start deliberating tomorrow. Until then...”

He nodded and tapped the roof of the car, “Alright. Hop in mamacita. Let’s grab some grub. Don’t you dare say you’re not hungry, someone stole my mashed potatoes and I’m starving. We are getting’ food!”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write. Very hard. This story broke me in ways I wasn’t expecting. 
> 
> The amount of research I did on law, due process, criminal and murder trials, the State of Washington... I’ve definitely ended up on some FBI watch list.
> 
> I hope whoever reads this story, enjoys it in some capacity.

Sarah and Holder had had a rather low key evening after driving away from the courthouse. They had ordered some takeout from Spinasse, an Italian restaurant in Capitol Hill close to Holder’s place. Sarah had agreed to stay with him because it seemed like more of a hassle to go all the way back to Vashon.

They had stayed in and watched some television as they ate their food and then called it an early night. The next morning they drove to the courthouse together and met Hunt once again on the steps before the three of them headed inside of the courtroom.

Once everyone had taken their seats and the bailiff had called everyone to order Judge Hanes looked out at the gallery, “We will now hear closing arguments of counsel. Prosecution, you may proceed.”

Caroline nodded and stood up, she buttoned her jacket and walked over to the jury, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the defense has tried to paint you a picture of an innocent woman, a woman, who did not knowingly shoot a man to death. Was James Skinner a good man? Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean murder is acceptable. Sarah Linden of all people should know that. She is not exempt from the law, and she took away a man’s life. 

“Sarah Linden has an history of mental health issues, with obsessive tendencies, she admitted it to you here in this courtroom. Her word, cannot be trusted. The defendant says that James Skinner attacked her, but isn’t it more likely that she shot and killed the man she wanted to love her, or that she shot and killed a man she loved because she discovered he was a murderer? 

“The defendant testified that James Skinner was taking her to Adrian Seward’s location, but Adrian Seward wasn’t found anywhere near where she drove with the victim. There are many, many different scenarios which actually could have happened not including the bogus one that she was acting in self defense. Sarah Linden is guilty. And it’s up to you find that she is and her pay for her crimes.”

Caroline retook her seat and the judge turned to “Defense, you may present your closing argument.”

Hunt placed his hand on Sarah’s briefly before stand up and walking over to the jury box, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Sarah Linden has openly admitted and testified to her faults and to her mistakes. The prosecution wishes for you to believe Sarah Linden was a manipulative individual who killed James Skinner because of some obsession with a case, and an infatuation that she had with him. Wherein reality, James Skinner is the one who manipulated Sarah Linden. 

6 years ago my client knew that Ray Seward did not kill his wife, and when she tried to discuss it with James Skinner and he wouldn’t hear of it, because he was the killer. And she ended up in the hospital because she cared that much. Then on August 4th, 2014 after attempting to execute a proper arrest James Skinner manipulated her once more by threatening the life of a child. My client let you know, that before the fatal shot was fired—James Skinner attacked her and in fear for her life she fired her gun a second time. That is not murder, that’s self-defense. It is because of this, you must find Sarah Linden not guilty.” Hunt returned to his seat.

The courtroom was silent for a moment. Hanes adjusted himself in his seat and turned to the jury, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it is your job to determine whether Sarah Linden is guilty or if she is not guilty. To find Sarah Linden guilty, you must be convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that Sarah Linden did indeed commit the murder of James Skinner. If you are not so convinced you must find her not guilty. All of you must agree in this decision. Bailiff, please take charge of the jury.”

The bailiff escorted the jury from the room and the gallery began to empty. Sarah turned to her lawyer, “Now we wait,” said Hunt with small smile.

——

It was nearing 4:30pm when it happened. Sarah and Holder were sitting together on a bench outside of the courtroom. The two of them hadn’t talked much since they’d left the courtroom, and they’d have to call it in 30 minutes and come back tomorrow if a decision wasn’t made.

“This could be it Holder,” Sarah said quietly. “I could spend the rest of my life in jail.”

“You won’t Linden,” Holder shook his head.\

She looked at him, “You don’t know that.”

“Neither do you. Damn girl, anyone ever tell you you’re a pessimist?”

Huffing a forced laugh she shook her head, “Jack will be okay, he has his dad... I should have been a better mom to him.”

“You are great moms, and you’re still gonna be there for Jack no matter what.”

Holder could see the doubt etched on her face, and was about to speak again when he saw Hunt coming their way.

“They’ve reached a verdict,” the lawyer said looking at Sarah expectantly.

Linden and Holder stood, and she nodded, “Okay, here we go.”

——

“Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?” Hanes asked looking at the jury.

“We have your honor,” the foreperson cleared their throat and looked down as they read from the their paper. “We the jury find the defendant Sarah Linden,” it was as though the walls were pressing in on Sarah, the sound became muffled she didn’t even know if she had a heartbeat anymore. “Not guilty.”

Sarah let out a long breath and put out a hand to steady herself as a wave of dizziness came over her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank-you for your service at this trial. I appreciate your attention, your dedication, and your hard work. There is no law that requires you to discuss this case. At the same time, there is no law that prohibits you from discussing the case. Whether or not to do so is left entirely to your own individual discretion. Again, thank you, and you are now excused.” Hanes picked up the gavel, “This Court is adjourned.”

Linden turned to Hunt, he beamed at her “Congratulations Ms. Linden.”

Overwhelmed with emotion she just nodded, “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder, picked up his briefcase and left. She followed closely behind inching her way through the crowd, the press were trying to inch closer.

“Yo Linden!”

Holder stood out a few feet away, she went to him and he put an arm around her. “C’mon,” he said “let’s get the hell of of here.” They went out a back way.

They walked outside into the cold brisk air, just another cloudy day in Seattle. They stopped on the steps and he turned to her.

“You did it Linden,” Holder sounded so proud.

Sarah blinked slowly and raised her brows, “Yeah, yeah I guess I did.”

“Hey, I got something for you,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out her police badge holding it in the palm of her hand. Sarah looked down at the shield, her heart soaring for a moment—to go back to doing what she was best at, what she was meant to do. Her fingers reached out and brushed over the shield, her other came up and closed Holder’s hand around it gently pushing it back to his stomach.

She looked up at him, a sad smile formed on her face. Holder had one too, but he nodded understanding, “Yeah, I figured.”

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s all good Linden,” he put the badge back into his pants pocket. “What’ll you do? Back to the ferry?”

She shook her head, “No. No I think... I’m going to go to Chicago. I need to see Jack, maybe spend some time with him.”

Holder bobbed his head up and down, “For how long?”

“I don’t know.” She admitted, “This whole thing, it’s just... it’s...”

“Yeah. It has.” There were some tears in his eyes now. “I’m gonna miss you 1-900.”

She chuckled tearily, “Yeah. I’m gonna miss you too.”

Then, without hesitation she stepped forward and embraced him her arms reaching around his body her head fit just under his chin. He slowly raised his arms and hugged her back. And they didn’t let go for a long time.


End file.
